


Less Dirt, More Blushes.

by LittleMewLugia (Lugianna)



Series: Blushes [2]
Category: Transformers (Bay Movies)
Genre: M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-09-13
Updated: 2018-09-29
Packaged: 2019-07-11 16:17:21
Rating: Mature
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings, No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 16
Words: 32,546
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15975932
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Lugianna/pseuds/LittleMewLugia
Summary: When Starscream becomes curious about the value of humans to Cybertronians, when searching for a suitable human to find out, his optics fall upon the totally unsuspecting Miles Lancaster...





	1. Chapter 1

**Author's Note:**

> Wow, when going through the pairings, I couldn’t find Miles/Starscream!Miles/Thundercracker, Or Miles/Skywarp. Am I seriously the first person to ship Miles and the Seekers?

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Continuity: Movieverse.

Disclaimer: Transformers belongs to Hasbro and Dreamworks/Paramount, I make no claim to ownership

Rating: M

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Prologue.

 

Starscream landed at the Decepticon Base with an overloud jet-scream, which told Barricade that Starscream was annoyed or bothered by something. Not wanting to risk the irate Seeker taking it out on him for assumed tardiness, the black and white frontliner wandered out to where Starscream could see him and call him if he wanted him, but not so close that he could be accused of invading the Decepticon Leader's space if he preferred privacy.

Starscream saw him and strode over, annoyance and confusion written over his faceplates.

"I saw that Witwicky insect washing the yellow Autobot scout on the drive again," he said. "I do not understand why the Autobot tolerates it, he could vaporise any dirt on his plating with a quick sonic blast. He hardly needs it, so why does he allow it? Once a week, and sometimes twice a week, the fleshling boy washes the Autobot. Why does the Autobot put up with it? He could just tell him not to do it but he doesn't seem to have done that."

"Perhaps he enjoys it?" Barricade suggested. Starscream gave a full-body shudder.

"Don't be ridiculous! Why would he enjoy the sensation of flabby, fleshy hands all over him?" Starscream snorted. "Or maybe it's some odd Autobot perversion? Disgusting, I call it!"

"You shouldn't judge it without trying it," Barricade said. "I've actually had a wash by humans down at the Police pound and it's not as revolting as you might imagine. The water is warm, and those nimble little organic fingers can reach and remove dirt from places we can't get to. It's such a relief to feel those soft little digits pick out a bit of grit in a joint, or clear dirt off an awkward to reach surface."

"Really?" asked Starscream. "Are they not all flabby and slimy and damp?"

"Not at all," Barricade replied. "Unless they are too hot, or frightened, they are not the least bit slimy or damp. They are dry and smooth and warm, their touch is more pleasant than their appearance would suggest."

"Try it, you say?" Starscream said. "You forget that it is not so easy for myself as for you. Not many people have a _plane_ they could wash."

Barricade shrugged one shoulder. "Then find a place in private and a willing human. One living on the streets won't be missed, and can likely be trained to do what is needed."

"I'll think about it, I'm going to go for another flight, maybe an idea will come to me," Starscream said. He stopped off only long enough to refuel, then converted back to plane form and headed off.

Barricade went back inside. If he were lucky, Starscream would be absent for a nice long time, allowing him time to himself.


	2. Chapter 2

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter One.

 

Bumblebee turned up the music for his two human passengers as they turned off the road into town and headed up the deserted path that led up to the Lookout. Sam had asked Bumblebee to make sure Optimus or any of the taller Autobots were not there, for although Miles was now aware of the Autobot's existence, and had seen (and helped Sam wash) Bumblebee in robot form, he was a bit worried about how Miles would react to bigger 'bots. He intended, in time, to introduce Miles to all of his Cybertronian friends, but wanted to be in control of whom Miles met, and when, and what situation that would be. Unannounced at the top of The Lookout was not high on Sam's list of ideas.

Thankfully, Bumblebee had been able to assure Sam that none of the others had gone to The Lookout that day bar Hound, and he had already headed back to the Base. Sam had decided that Miles did not yet need to know about the existence of the Decepticons, deciding that it might be need-to-know once Miles started to know about the other Autobots, and deciding to leave the history lesson and explanations to Ratchet. At the moment the Decepticons probably didn't even know that Miles existed, so Miles didn't need to know yet that the Decepticons existed either.

They reached the top of The Lookout, and got out, looking over the town spread out in front of them and beyond. They munched on sausage rolls they had picked up on the way and swigged from cans of root beer – they weren't about to risk getting caught with the real stuff while underage. Sam _had_ been tempted to nick a couple of cans out of his Dad's fridge, but decided the risk of being caught, and then having to fess to his Dad about stealing two of his cans, wasn't worth the hassle.

 

"Okay, so you want to stay up here while 'Bee and I swing into town, pick up Mikeala, help her get some stuff, drop her off, and pick you up on the way back?" Sam asked. "Are you sure? I could use the company."

"Hey bro, you're meeting up with your girlfriend, you need my company like you need a cactus spike in your butt," Miles said with a smile. "Don't put yourself out just for me, I'll be fine."

"But what will you do up here on your own?" Sam asked. "You can only savour the view for so long."

Miles took a small book, notepad and camera out of his multi-pocket photographer's vest. "I'll be happy enough. Planes from Nellis fly over regularly. I'll have fun photographing them, and then identifying them."

"As long as you're sure, bro, we may be some time. Mikaela has birthday money and she wants to spend it on clothes." Sam shuddered as he thought about being dragged around shop after shop by Mikaela. He hated shopping for clothes for himself, let alone for anybody else. However, Mikaela had asked, and he had agreed, for what sort of boyfriend wouldn't help his girlfriend to cart her purchases back over the distance to her house? For Mikaela, he'd suffer, but only because he loved her.

"Sam, chill, I'll be fine," Miles said. "Just leave me a can or two, and some of those rolls, and I'll be fine."

"Okay, as long as you're sure," Sam said, getting the requested items from 'Bee's trunk.

"I'll be fine," Miles said, reaching in for his binoculars and a fold-up metal and canvas portable seat. "You concentrate on keeping Mikaela happy."

"Thanks, bro," Sam said, easing himself into 'Bee's driving seat. "I'll pick you up here in a few hour's time then?" Miles nodded, and gave Sam a wave as Bumblebee turned around and drove away back down the road to town.

 

Once the sound of Bumblebee's engine was no longer audible, Miles found a good spot, set up the seat, put a can of root beer in the can holder in the arm and leaned back, scanning the sky. Planes came and went, and Miles took photos and video footage, using his book to try and identify anything not immediately recognisable.

After a while, he spotted a plane doing something different. Rather than just taking off and landing it seemed to be practicing its aerobatics, swooping and rolling and flipping in the air. He switched his camera to video mode and pointed the lens at the craft, zooming in as it dropped lower, where it was recognisable as an F-22 Raptor, the USAF's most advanced stealth fighter jet, which happened to be Miles’ favourite plane.

After several more rounds of flipping and spinning, it stopped and began to describe lazy figure-of-eights in the air, dropping lower and lower at each turn. Miles watched, fascinated, impressed at the obvious skill of the pilot at the controls. As it dropped lower, and moved closer towards the Lookout, it suddenly seemed to stop. Miles was intrigued, he didn't know the Raptor was capable of a hover manoeuvre, and he got the odd feeling that he was being watched.

 

He thought it must be an illusion, that the pilot couldn't possibly even see him up here, let alone be looking at him, but just in case, he gave a hearty wave. To his astonishment and delight, the Raptor turned side-on and then gave a wing-wave back. The Raptor then flew so close to the Lookout that Miles could, if the canopy had not been dark, have seen the pilot inside. He raised his camera, zooming out hurriedly, then began backing off to try and get the whole plane in the frame.

The Raptor then did something completely unexpected. It shot off and up into the air, arcing around to perform a roll and as Miles, delighted to be getting his own air display, followed it with his camera, something inexplicable happened to it.

 

It seemed to fold in half, and flip in the air even as it began to descend. From the split in the fuselage a head emerged, the sides of the plane seemed to slide and then separate, stretching out and down, and carbon fibre moved and slid, turned and slotted into different places. As the Raptor finished its descent, it was no longer a plane but a huge, winged robot, which landed on the edge of the lookout, its glowing red eyes looking straight at Miles.

For a moment, Miles was lost for words, and then he raised one hand, fingers spread, and said "Uh, hi, welcome to Earth. Are you an Autobot, like Bumblebee?"

"Well, you are a polite little being, I'll give you that," the robot replied. "My name is Starscream, and I am not an Autobot, like Bumblebee, but I am from the same planet of Cybertron. What are you called?"

"Um, my name is Miles, Miles Lancaster," he replied. "Um, if you're not an Autobot, would it be impertinent to ask what you are? I'm afraid I'm not high enough in my world's hierarchy to take you to my leader, but if I can be of any assistance, please let me know." He wondered if he should be concerned that the being had not professed anything about being peaceful, or not being hostile, then dismissed his concern. _'I've been watching too many sci-fi movies,'_ he decided. _'They're aliens, I shouldn't expect them to act like they're portrayed in the movies.'_ Then he recalled the movies War Of the Worlds and Independence Day, and hoped that the robot, Starscream, would continue acting politely, and not turn out to be violent and choose Tranquility to demonstrate his superior firepower.

 

"Certainly, Miles, I will tell you what I am," the robot replied. "I am Starscream, a Seeker, the noblest of the Cybertronian races, and I am the leader of the Decepticons, a faction in opposition to the aristocratic Autobots, who held us Decepticons in servitude. We lived our lives in poverty, starving, working, and dying, while their Senators and nobles lived in their opulent towers and palaces, not knowing real poverty or hard work or hardship, for any day of their miserable lives."

"Gee, that sounds rough, but the Autobot I know, Bumblebee, doesn't seem like that at all. He seems willing to help and everything," Miles said.

"Bumblebee?" snorted Starscream. "He was an orphaned sparkling, discovered by Optimus Prime when the war was already underway, when the nobles had been forced out of their luxuriant residences and extravagant lifestyles. He has never known that way of life, but fights for the Autobots out of loyalty to Optimus Prime."

"Wow, you're a freedom fighter then?" Miles asked, obviously impressed, and Starscream, hearing the admiration in the little human's tone, puffed up, visibly expanding his armour in pride.

"Indeed I am, little human, you seem to be quite intelligent for your kind. I like you. Tell me, do you like me? You seemed to be watching me for some time, even as far as recording my movements." He bent down, his optics narrowing in a scowl. "Or are you an Autobot spy?"

"N-no!" Miles squeaked in fear. "I – I like aircraft, I was just observing and recording planes, see?" He turned off the video function on his camera and showed Starscream his photos, his notebook notations, and his pocket aircraft ID book. "I had no idea you existed, let alone that you would be here, I swear!"

 

Starscream bent his knees and retracted part of his legs to bring his body closer to Miles. To Miles' relief, Starscream's scowl cleared. "You like my disguise mode, that of a plane?" he asked.

"Y-yes, I do, I've liked planes from an early age," Miles told him. "Your robot form's kinda cool too, I can still tell what plane you were, and your wings are impressive. Can you still fly like that? As a robot I mean?"

Starscream preened. "Yes, I have been told I have lovely wings before, but you are the first human to bother noticing." Miles noticed that Starscream seemed a little put out by this. "As for flying, I can fly, fast and accurate in either mode, both as a plane and as a robot. Here, let me show you."

 

Before Miles could speak, or react in any way, Starscream brought both of his hands forward and scooped Miles up in them. Miles cried out as he fell on his back, and the big hands carefully cupped around him. He could see little through the spaces left by the fingers as they laced together and locked, but he heard Starscream's afterburners roar, and felt the movement and slightly increased gees as Starscream took off.

The hands rose, and Miles suddenly found himself looking at the smoked-glass cockpit, it seemed Starscream was holding him to his chest.

He could have protested, or struggled, but Miles was aware that one misinterpretation of a cry or shout of "put me down!" could result in a very long drop, and he wasn't about to risk it. Instead he got himself into a position where he could peer through a chink between the fingers and watch the landscape go by. After all, he was flying in an F-22 Raptor, albeit in a slightly different configuration from the norm, so he figured he should enjoy it. He wondered if he should film it, but then remembered he'd put the camera down at the Lookout and it had been left there.

 

"Damn," he muttered, adjusting himself so he could watch the world go by. He absently stroked one of the smooth metal fingers, and hoped Sam wouldn't worry too much.

 

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo 

 

When Sam and Bumblebee arrived, they were at first unconcerned. They had probably arrived while Miles was off taking a leak or something, so Sam went over to the unoccupied chair to wait for him. It was when he noticed the partial prints of a very large pair of robotic feet on the Lookout's pinnacle that he began to get concerned. Looking around, he spotted Miles' camera on the ground. Sam picked it up and saw nothing untoward in the photos, then looked at the most recent video clips for a clue.

As he watched one clip, and recognised Starscream, his heart grew cold and heavy. As the clip ended, with Starscream asking Miles if he were an Autobot spy, Sam turned the camera off and went over to 'Bee, slotting the memory card in an adaptor, then slotting that into a USB port Ratchet had installed in 'Bee's dash a few months ago.

"Check the latest video clip, 'Bee," Sam said, knowing 'Bee could scan faster than the camera could show the images.

"Starscream has captured Miles?"asked Bee?"

"I think that's very likely in light of the evidence, 'Bee," Sam replied. "Question is, is he still alive, and well?" He packed up Miles' stuff, thumbtacked a 'Miles, call me, Sam' sign to a tree in case they were wrong and Miles had run and hid, and then Sam got in Bumblebee, and they headed for the Autobot base.


	3. Chapter 3

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Two.

 

When his captor landed, Miles wondered what was going to happen next. He'd already guessed that the being holding him wouldn't just be dropping him back home, but he took heart that he hadn't been harmed, at least not yet, and fervently hoped that his continued good health was a requirement for whatever purpose he'd been taken.

He held on as the flying robot moved with a bouncing gait towards a large hangar, which the robot entered, ducking his head to get in the doorway. Inside Miles saw two more similar robots, plus a smaller black and white form that appeared to be made out of pieces of Police car. The robot in question spotted Miles, cocked his head and said "I see you got yourself one."

"Indeed I have, and not only do I think he will be fit and able for the task, but he is polite, and has impeccable taste." He stooped to put Miles on top of a shipping container, and the other three came over to look at him. Miles cowered back a bit at the scrutiny from four pairs of glowing red eyes. Starscream put out one finger to stroke his head gently. "He likes flying forms, and he likes my wings." The Seeker preened again, then turned his attention back to Miles.

"Miles Lancaster, these are my wingbrothers, Thundercracker and Skywarp. Thundercracker has a bluish sheen to his hide, and Skywarp is the black one with purple flashes."

"Um, you guys have really nice wings as well," Miles said, and saw both the others preen too.

"Well, fleshy or no, he knows good wings when he sees them," Thundercracker said. "But why have you brought him here, Starscream? Do you yearn for a squishy pet? Or has he earned your favour in some other way?"

"This is Barricade," Starscream said, ignoring  Thundercracker’s questions for the moment, as he indicated the mech made from pieces of Police car. "He told me that a human washing my alt might be pleasurable, as your fingers can get into places mine cannot." The Seeker brandished the claws of one hand before Miles, and the human thought he could see where Starscream was coming from, even as he shied back from the razor-sharp appendages.

"I would like you, Miles, to show me how being washed and cleaned by a human could be of benefit to me. Don't worry, your manners have ensured that I will not destroy you if I disagree, but I would like to experience what Barricade suggests will be a very enjoyable experience if I allow you to clean me."

"Well, I guess you can't be a lot messier than Mason, he hates his baths and tries to get away whenever he can, and he does outmass me." Miles babbled.

"Mason?" asked Starscream.

"My dog, a big bruiser of a Mastiff, if you view my Facebook page you can see pictures," Miles said. For a few moments, Starscream seemed to concentrate on connecting to the Internet, and then he said petulantly "I need to be your friend to see your pictures!"

"Send a friend request, then log in as me, my password’s 'Mustang89', and accept your request, log back in and then you can see them," Miles suggested. As Starscream did so, it occurred to Miles that the Seeker could just log in as him and view the pics, but it really wasn't important.

"Yes, he _is_ a large animal in comparison to many others of his species, isn't he?" Starscream remarked.

"Yeah, so, from what you've said you want me to wash you? You're a fair bit bigger than Mason, but if you're more amenable to a wash, it'll be somewhat easier," Miles said. "Mason dislikes baths, and I have a job keeping him in the tub long enough."

Starscream gave a short laugh."Unless you're unduly rough, you will not have that problem with me. If you do a good job, you will be rewarded, and if you agree to wash my wingbrothers too, they will probably reward you also," the Seeker told him.

"How?" asked Miles. "Flights in you as a plane would be awesome!" he said hopefully.

 

"I'm sure we could put ourselves through the hardships required to allow that," Thundercracker said, and Starscream had to admit to pride in his wingbrother's conniving. Thundercracker loved flying, in alt or robot form, and by convincing Miles it would be a hardship, he would likely have Miles seeing doing what TC loved as a special honour bestowed on him for his attentions.

"Oh yes, that would be awesome, if that's okay," Miles said, confirming Starscream's suspicions. "If it's too difficult, I could take something else, I guess, whatever you feel is appropriate," Miles said.

As Starscream gave TC a look that meant 'don't lay it on too thick', Thundercracker flapped his long-spiked hand nonchalantly at Miles. 'No, it's not too difficult, just give me a few hour's warning so I can clear my schedule, do my pre-flight checks, and fill up with fuel," the blue Seeker said.

 

"Now, I'm sure you understand that a proper deep clean will require more than just soap and water," Starscream said. "After all, my radar absorbent coating requires special care to keep it in tip-top condition and to keep it from reflecting radar signals back. We do have a special soap that just needs to be wiped on and rubbed off, though for loose dirt and dust we can just use water."

Miles didn't see where Starscream got it from, but a moment later he was holding out a large tin, which looked almost like a tin of shoe polish, except it was much larger, and the gold-coloured surface had no adornment or product logo printed on it. He supposed tins could only have so many shapes for so many products, and the circle was a universal concept.

 

The big robot twisted the lid off and Miles smelt a pungent but not unpleasant odour from the creamy translucent substance inside. He reached in cautiously, slowly, with one finger extended, but Starscream did not admonish him or pull the tin away, so Miles took it as permission. He pressed his fingertip to the substance and it even felt a little like shoe polish, but smoother and less greasy. Starscream sat down and took a cloth from a pile Miles had not noticed.

"I will show you how to use it on my lower arm. After that, I would be pleased if you could clean me with it."

Miles nodded, and watched as Starscream took a tiny dab from the vast tin, and began rubbing it on his arms in small circular motions.

 

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo 

A quick trip to Miles' house was all they needed to confirm that Miles hadn't returned home. His aunt wasn't overly concerned, stating that he was probably visiting some of his other friends, who were into UFOs and conspiracy theories. "He'll probably turn up tomorrow bleary-eyed from staying up all night but otherwise fine," she said.

Sam, not wanting to worry her, played along, nodded and smiled, and asked her to tell Miles to call him later. Had it not been for Miles leaving his stuff behind, and the footage on the camera, Sam might have believed that one of Miles' other friends who could drive had picked him up. 

Once he was back in Bumblebee, he said "C'mon Bee, let's go find Mikaela, fill her in, and go and see if Optimus has any ideas." He was now regretting not clueing Miles in about the Decepticons, fretting that by not doing so, he had put Miles in peril.

Bumblebee and Sam now knew each other so well, it almost amounted to a telepathic ability. 'Bee could tell Sam was worried, and could guess the turn his thoughts had taken.

"Sam, even if you had warned Miles about Starscream, where would he have run, where could he have hidden? This is not your fault, I think that Starscream wouldn't have taken Miles if he didn't have a reason to. I think Miles took the right actions by being polite and flattering him, that would appeal to Starscream's vanity. Perhaps he took Miles as a sort of pet? I'm sure he'd love a constant supply of the compliments Miles was paying him, and for that he'd need to not just keep Miles alive, but well."

"I hope you're right, buddy," Sam said. "Perhaps the other Autobots can help us find out. Come on, let's get Mikaela and head for the Base."

Bumblebee dropped down into vehicle mode, and Sam got in. He pulled the door shut and then Bumblebee moved off the Lookout and onto the road, moving as fast as the speed limit allowed.

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo

 

By the time Miles was carefully working on the Seeker's smooth helm and the moving parts of his faceplates, he was hot, tired, and somewhat sweaty. He was pretty sure that the Seeker must be smelling something of his sweaty self, even though all Miles himself could smell was the scent of the tin of smooth soap. As he stepped away, giving the edges of the helm a quick finishing swipe, Starscream stretched and sighed.

"Thank you, human, that was more enjoyable than I thought, but I must ask; why is there an unpleasant aroma coming from you?" Miles opened his mouth to speak, but the black and white robot, who had remained watching as Miles polished the Seeker, spoke up first.

"Humans exude fluids from their pores to avoid overheating," Barricade said, in a slightly condescending manner. "Unfortunately, microscopic organic life on human skin feeds on it, emitting a noxious odour as a by-product. The boy will need to wash himself and his clothes, and will likely need more than one set of clothes. Let's not forget food and water and bedding while we're on the subject, humans take a lot of looking after."

Starscream scowled, wishing he'd checked up on this before taking the boy, or even better, that Barricade had pre-warned him. He got a funny feeling the black and white grounder had expected this and was enjoying seeing his discomfiture. Then he smiled as an idea came to him.

"As you are so well versed in the care of humans, Barricade, I will appoint you to go out and get the things the boy will require," Starscream said, enjoying the sour look that stole over the frontliner's face as he realised his own prank had backfired on him. "Food, drink, bedding, clothing and cleaning materials will be, I believe, high priority, followed by other things such as grooming materials and something to keep him occupied when he is resting." He gave Barricade a look. "The sooner you go, the sooner you can get back to what you were doing."

"Yes, Lord Starscream, right away," Barricade said, slipping out. Oh, he'd do as he was asked, but he'd leave as long as he dared before returning. He grinned toothily.

The human boy should be nicely fragrant by then.


	4. Chapter 4

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dr Syn is the intellectual property of MeowthTwo on FanfictionDOTnet, and is used with permission.

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Three.

 

It was less than an hour after Barricade's departure that Starscream began to find the increasing reek coming from the boy unbearable. It helped slightly that the boy himself was aware of his own stench and kept apologising as Starscream's discomfort became more and more apparent. However, after a while Starscream decided he couldn't wait for Barricade to return with clean clothes and washing things for the human. It seemed he'd have to take some sort of temporary remedial action himself.

"Human, I mean Miles, I want you to take off all your clothes," he said.

"You _what_?" squeaked Miles.

"You heard me, take off your clothes," Starscream repeated. When the human boy didn't make any move to do so, Starscream got exasperated. "You didn't seem slow when I met you, but maybe I will have to make myself clear. Please remove those smelly dirty clothes from your person. If you do not do so, I shall be forced to remove them from you myself. As you are small and fragile, and my hands are large and sharp, I do not wish to do so as I may inadvertently harm you."

 

The boy seemed to get that, and began disrobing quickly enough, and when he had taken almost everything off, he looked up at Starscream questioningly.

"Please remove the garment around your hip and leg region," Starscream said.

"What, even my underpants?" Miles asked in dismay.

"Yes, those as well," Starscream said. When the boy seemed slow to obey, Starscream exasperatedly picked him up, carefully inserted one sharp-edged finger between his skin and the garment, and eased it off in spite of the boy's yells and flailing legs.

He turned the human to face him, intending to speak sharply to him, but stopped in alarm as he saw the skin on the human's face and chest begin to turn an odd red colour, startling alongside his dirty blonde hair.

 

"Why are you changing colour? He asked. "Are you ill?" He hoped not, for although his medic was well versed in repairing mechs, he didn't know what Dr Syn knew about healing humans.

Miles shook his head, realising that Starscream honestly did not realise. He reminded himself that neither Starscream nor any of his men wore any sort of artificial coverings, and guessed that amongst their people there was probably no nudity taboo.

"Amongst humans, wearing clothes is kinda an important part of our culture. To be seen in public with no clothes on is taboo, and even amongst families, going nude would be seen as impolite." Miles explained. "Even between mates, it's usually not polite to undress in front of each other unless we are about to reproduce. For changing clothes or washing ourselves, we usually do that in private. The colour change is a result of blood rushing to my skin because I'm embarrassed."

"What odd customs you humans have, and what strange reactions," Starscream said. "You don't need to be embarrassed, _we_ have no such taboo."

"I can't control it, it's taught from a young age that you don't expose your private parts – that is, the reproductive organs – to strangers."

Starscream sighed. "Well, you'll have to put up with it because I cannot _stand_ you smelling like that. This is a temporary solution, but the only one I can think of." As the Seeker rubbed his fingers in the polish/soap, Miles realised that Starscream's solution involved the Seeker cleaning him in the same way Miles had just cleaned Starscream. He shied away as the sharp fingers approached, but Starscream held him still. Miles squeezed his eyes shut, expecting those lethal-looking appendages to dig into his skin, but somehow Starscream used only the blunter part of his digits to carefully dab the soap on Miles' skin and start rubbing it in.

Starscream gave Miles' feet a liberal daubing saying "This part stinks worse than the rest of you, yuck! You rub it on the rest of your limbs, that area is too small to me to risk." Miles did so, carefully rubbing the cream between his legs and into his butt himself to stop Starscream doing so. Once he was silky-slick with the soap, Starscream grabbed another sheet and gave him a thorough but harmless buffing with the sheet. The surplus soap came off, but it took the dirt, and thankfully the smell, with it. Miles grabbed a corner and rubbed his butt and groin and between his toes himself.

Starscream took a deep breath and said "That's better, you smell much more acceptable now." He bent to put Miles down, and the boy used his hands to cover his groin. Noticing the movement, and noticing that the redness of the boy's skin had not subsided, Starscream recalled the explanation about the nudity taboo and realised the human was still embarrassed. Sighing, he picked up a cleanish cloth from the pile and dropped it over him. Fighting to get his head out of it, Miles then clutched the rest of it around himself gratefully.

 

"Thanks," he said. "I actually feel better for the cleaning. Even I don't like it when I'm sweaty, even when it's dried off."

"I should hope so!" Starscream said. "How do you humans put up with the smell when you've exerted yourself?"

“Well, often we don't," Miles said. "That's the purpose of anti-perspirant sprays, and we have deodorants to conceal it. Then when we get in at night, we have a bath or a shower, and clean ourselves off."

"I'm thinking we may have to invest in something so you can clean yourself off. Although my special soap worked, it is hard to come by, and takes time and resources to make, so that cannot be used all the time." He paused. "I will put Dr Syn and Barricade to work devising a way for you to have your daily bath."

"Well, Sir, any container big enough and a way of heating the water will do," Miles said. "I'll need soap, maybe a sponge or face cloth, and drying cloths, we call them towels, but that would do, if that helps sir," he said.

"Yes, thank you, that is a help. You will have a bath by tomorrow," he said, telling Thundercracker to scour dumps and building sites and telling him what to look for. "Can you think of any other ideas?"

"Well, we humans have to eat and drink, but that produces waste, which we must also dispose of." He paused, blushing slightly. "That waste often smells more offensive than a sweaty body. My solution would be a Portaloo, or a chemical toilet like we use for Mason's doings," he said. He paused, blushing again. "Problem is, sir, I need to go now, and I _know_ it's gonna smell."

 

"Having just walked in on this conversation, may I interrupt?" asked a brown, jolly looking mech who was obviously disguised as some other sort of car. Without waiting for an answer he continued "As these structures were originally constructed for humans, waste disposal facilities were built in, and as Soundwave has managed to get our utilities reconnected, the human toilets _are_ functional. May I suggest that I take your new human guest to them so he may dispose of his waste in a place where the smell will not cause you distress?"

"Please, Dr Syn, take him so he can gain relief, as long as my nasal receptors are not assaulted by the foul odours the boy is warning me of!" Starscream said." He turned to Miles. "This is our medic, Dr Syn, short for his alt form, the Synergie. Go with him now, and while you're with him, tell him of any other needs your organic makeup requires." 

Miles nodded, and when the bronze medic cupped his hands in an obvious invitation, Miles climbed into them with a mixture of excitement and trepidation. He had always thought that intelligent life must have evolved on other planets, and upon meeting Bumblebee, had rejoiced, even as he had been told he could not tell anybody else, even Carissima, his on-off-on-again girlfriend. He had kept that promise, and now here he was, speaking with, and living with _several_ extra-terrestrial beings,and he had even helped clean one of them, one who was a leader.

It seemed to Miles that they and humans were similar, not only were they bipedal (when not in disguise) but they had disputes, and different groups who subscribed to one view or another. Miles was certain that one day the race would be revealed to the whole of Humanity, and when it was, he could write a paper or two that could propel him to a comfortable lifestyle at least, and maybe to fame. Problem was, he reflected, he had to survive long enough to write and publish the papers, and then enjoy the money they made!

 

The bronze doctor took him through to a smaller building, and then set him down in front of a reassuringly human-sized door, which Miles went into. The totally normal and unremarkable toilet was one of the most welcome sights Miles had ever seen, and as he hurried through and shut the door, Dr Syn was sure he heard a sigh of relief.

It was ten minutes later that Miles came out, during which _several_ offensive smells were registered by the medic's sensitive olfactory system, but when he came out, the human looked far more relaxed and far less embarrassed, for all that he was clad in nothing more than a polishing cloth.

"Sorry" he said vaguely "but I had to go. I gather from Starscream's reactions that he finds our waste offensive?"

"We _all_ find your waste offensive, human, but I realise the necessity, just as some humans might find Starscream's overwhelming need to fly hard to understand. However, Seekers, such as he is, need to fly at regular intervals, such as every three to five days, or they go mad." The medic did not emphasise any part of this, but Miles felt as if he was being given knowledge, just in case something went wrong, and some secret Government agency or the Military caught the Seeker, and Miles found out. Miles guessed it was a good idea to have a certain number of people in the know in case something happened.

"Well, thanks anyway," Miles said. "I guess that solves one of Starscream's problems with keeping me, but how long does he want me for? I live with an aunt who will worry if I'm not there."

"An aunt?" asked Dr Syn, who had briefly looked up human family connections. "Not your Creators – that is, your parents?"

"My parents were involved in a car accident. I was in the back. It was a head-on collision, my parents died, but I survived." He paused. "My Aunt tells me that it's a good thing I was their only child, she couldn't afford to care for more than one."

“How old are you?” the doctor asked.

I’m seventeen,” Miles told him.

"Don't worry, I'll make sure your Aunt is informed that although you'll be living away from her, you'll be fine. I will also inform Starscream that you are still under a guardian's care, which does give you some measure of protection under our laws."

"It does?" Miles asked, intrigued.

"Indeed," Dr Syn said. "To be under a Guardian's care, you must be either young – which all your species are by our standards – vulnerable in some way, perhaps being without armour or family members, - or need protection for some other reason. On our world all reasons are valid, and none make the recipient any less valued than another."

 

"So youth means something?" Miles asked. "What do you define as 'young?'

"To be young on our world means that the individual is older than your race has existed. Our life spans are very long," Dr Syn explained. "However, we judge a world, or a portion of your world, by their own standards. Although by our standards _all_ your people are sparklings, for we are extremely long lived compared to you, we judge you based on _your_ standards. We are aware that although some species' existence is short by our standards, they usually have a stage at which they are considered adults. In your case, that is, in the United States of America. You, at your age, are not considered old enough to drink alcohol, or elect the human you choose to lead you. Choosing your Leader is only considered able for humans in America, when the individual is twenty-one, which is older than you, personally, are now," the doctor explained."

"Yeah, I can see your reasoning," Miles said. "With our life span, you might think that us younger humans don't know what we care about or otherwise, because we're so young," Miles said. "Thing is, given the facts, a lot of humans from fifteen onwards could give a considered opinion on what they want, not based on what people a few decades on might consider important."

"Perhaps you should tell Starscream that," Dr Syn said, "for all the indications he is giving indicating that he wants peace. However, he does not want to be the one, in what he considers a weaker position, to be the one to ask for it."

 

"Well, if it will benefit America, I guess I'll do it," Miles said. "If I can help to bring peace between our species, what do I do?"

"It's not easy or simple," Dr Syn explained. "Still, I bet I can still explain the approach you should take the best I can..."


	5. Chapter 5

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> G and gees are the same thing, and one G/gee is equal to Earth's gravity, which we don't notice because we live at it constantly. 2 G is twice Earth gravity, 3 G three times and so on. 5 or 6 G is generally about the time you risk red or black out without a flight suit.

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Four.

 

Dr Syn politely commed Starscream, and entered when the Seeker gave permission. He moved over to where the human was lying on top of several polishing cloths, curled up and wrapped up in the one he had been wearing since the night before.

"Isn't he cute?" the medic said, smiling slightly as he watched Starscream regard the boy.

" _All_ younglings have a measure of cuteness, something even the humans have noticed," Starscream replied. "It is theorised that a youthful and helpless look encourages the organisms to care for their young, in fact in humans the appeal goes beyond their own species, hence the human liking of taking young animals as pets."

"But younglings grow up," Dr Syn observed. "Do humans dump them when this happens, when their cuteness quotient is lost in adulthood?" Starscream's optics dimmed as he checked for the latest information on the Internet, and then looked up.

"Some do, yes, but it seems the majority of humans have a liking for small furry things, and persist in seeing them as cute even when they have grown up. It is true that there are those who abandon or mistreat the adult organisms and even, in some cases, the young ones, but these are in the minority, and if they are found out, in this country in particular, they can be punished for their neglect." Starscream paused, and then continued. "It seems that in many cases, the 'pet' sees their human as a Creator, or surrogate Creator. It seems that some humans like caring for other creatures, or even see them as surrogate Creations, or companions, or friends. Some can even be trained to assist humans who, for various reasons, cannot do certain tasks for themselves. "

Their conversation, it seemed, had woken the boy, for he mumbled something that sounded like 'another ten minutes', rolled over onto his back, stretched, yawned, and cracked open one eye. The sight of the two Decepticons bending over him was obviously enough to either startle him, or remind him of his circumstances, for he sat bolt upright suddenly, clutching his cloth around him, wide awake all of a sudden.

 

"Um – sorry – hi?" he said a bit blearily.

"Greetings, Miles," Starscream replied. "Did you get a good rest? I apologise that Barricade did not return with your items until you were well into your recharge. We decided that waking you at four-thirty in the morning your time to give you a proper bed, when you seemed comfortable enough where you were, would be counterproductive."

"Yeah, you were right, thanks for that," Miles said. He stood, gathering his polishing cloth around him, and tried to smooth down the tousle of his hair.

"Perhaps you could come and inspect what Barricade has found?" Starscream asked. Miles nodded, hoping he had brought clothes.

 

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"So, Ironhide, why would the Decepticons be interested in bed linen, clothing, and shoes?" Major Will Lennox said, walking into the weapons Specialist's armoury-cum-office and standing well clear. Ironhide glanced down at his voice, looked puzzled, and as he crouched with his hands out he asked "Is that a genuine question, or should I expect the punchline to a joke?"

Lennox sighed, wishing he hadn't started telling the big Weapons Specialist human jokes. He was getting there, and was understanding them more and more, but he wasn't quite there yet.

"No Ironhide, it's not a joke. The items I mentioned were amongst items reported missing from a warehouse in the Tranquility area this morning. Along with a single bed, soap, shampoo, shower gel, toothpaste, toothbrushes, towels, flannels, sponges, and toilet paper."

"How do you know it was Decepticons?" asked Ironhide.

"We wouldn't have known, except one of the night security guards at one of the warehouses spotted him transform. From the description he gave, we think it was Barricade."

Ironhide suddenly raised his hand and clicked his fingers with a loud, metallic click - he had learned the human gesture from Epps – and said "I may be able to help you out there, and hopefully it'll reassure Sam."

"What do you mean?" Lennox asked.

"A day ago, Sam's friend Miles was captured by Starscream, it was caught on camera. We hoped he wants Miles alive for some reason, and this raid suggests they are getting him stuff that he needs to live comfortably. Unless they have another human, which we think unlikely, it is likely that these items are for Miles, which suggest that he is useful to him not just alive, but comfortable."

"So, what would the Decepticons want with a human for _any_ reason, let alone a healthy and comfortable one?" Lennox asked.

"That, Will, is a question I am sure we would all like to know the answer to," Ironhide told him.

 

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Barricade, Miles found, had not just brought clothes, but had made sure he had Miles' size in them by taking several crates of every size available. He had, it transpired, taken two other mechs to help. Dropkick, who was disguised as a pickup truck and Payload, who was disguised as a security van, meaning both had plenty of room inside for purloined items.

"Yeah, Large and extra large will do me for shirts, T-shirts, sweats and coats thanks, and I'm a thirty-two waist and thirty-four hips, 30 inches on my inside leg" he said, checking the label of one pair of trousers that had fitted him. He indicated the crate of women's clothes one of them had picked up by mistake, plus the supersized and extra small, along with the the sizes he had discarded. "I won't need those," he said.

"I'll return them tomorrow," Dropkick said after receiving a 'look' from Barricade.

Miles picked out the shoes and trainers in his size, putting the boxes of the wrong size with the rejected clothes, wondering, judging by the amount of stuff they had brought, how long he was expected to stay. He kept the non-girly soaps and shampoos, putting the flowery stuff in the discard pile, along with pink towels and female body sprays.

Eventually he had sorted what he could use from what he could not, when Thundercracker returned with a large children's swimming pool, which was almost as high at the side as Miles was, a Y-shaped rubber tap-water mixer, plus a length of hose.

"This should do as a bath, Dr Syn has taps he can use, the hose can replace the shower head on the end, and Miles can tell us if the temperature is okay," Thundercracker said. He eyed Miles, and then Starscream's recently-cleaned armour, and said "I hope that by aiding in his keep, I may reap some benefit."

"If you mean that you hope he cleans you, that is up to him, and only after _me_ , or if I don't want cleaning that day," Starscream told him.

"Well, I'm okay with that, though I may need a rest if you both want washing on the same day," Miles said, bowing to first Starscream and then Thundercracker.

"I will not require cleaning today, Thundercracker, as he washed me yesterday," Starscream said.

"Well, could I ask him for a polish in return for helping him? If he wants a flight afterwards, I could probably accommodate that."

"He is quite intelligent, TC, and can hear well enough, why not ask _him_?" Starscream said reproachfully.

"Well, human, how about it? A flight in return for a wash?" asked the blue Seeker.

"Yes please!" Miles said. As Thundercracker sat down and removed a similar tin of cleaning wax to Starscream's, Miles went to get a polishing cloth, and soon, Miles was dabbing wax on to the blue Seeker, who sighed happily as he rubbed it and buffed him to a shine.

 

Once he had finished, Thundercracker stood up and picked Miles up.

"Come, I will give you a flight as promised," he said, then abruptly put Miles down. "Could _you_ please wash, and change your clothes first?" he asked, picking up the pool, mixer pipe, and hose. Miles grabbed a change of clothes, soap, shampoo and towels, and followed the blue Seeker out to the med bay.

Getting the pool up was not too bad once they got the idea, and Dr Syn let Miles test the mixed water for comfort before funnelling it through the hose to the pool. At Miles' request, the Seeker and the medic made themselves scarce while he washed, but to his mortification the Seeker returned just as he had finished drying himself and was about to get dressed. As Miles made a dash for his clothes, Thundercracker made a grab for _him_ , and Miles felt himself scooped up carefully but firmly in the Seeker's big hand.

"That's better, you're all dry and clean, and ooh, you smell nice!" the blue Seeker commented. He raised Miles to his cheek and rubbed his dry naked body against it.

"You are nice and smooth now, much better after your wash," the Seeker said, shuttering his optics, apparently oblivious to Miles' discomfort and the embarrassment causing the reddening of his skin.

"Um, I'm glad you like it, but could you please put me down?" he asked. "I'd like to get dressed, if that's okay by you."

 

Thundercracker unshuttered his optics and looked down at Miles as if surprised.

"Oh yes, of course," he said, setting the human down by his clothes, which Miles wasted no time in changing into. He looked down at the smelly clothes he'd worn before his bath, and the damp towels and said "What shall I do with these?"

"Leave them here, I can wash them, it's no trouble," the medic said. Thundercracker picked Miles up, and took him through to where Starscream was standing, looking up at the hangar roof.

"Starscream, I'm taking this boy out to fly. Would you like to join us?" the blue Seeker asked.

"No thank you, TC, I'll fly a little later, I'm investigating this "Facebook," I now have an account with, it seems to have many entertaining games. Farmville, Cityville, Treasure Isle. Maybe I can learn about humans and the human mind by playing them."

As Thundercracker went out with him, Miles shouted "Be careful, they can get addictive!" He didn't know if Starscream had heard him or not, but Thundercracker put Miles down, backed off, and converted into F-22 mode, lifting his canopy.

 

"Oh, I'm sorry, I don't know if you know how to get in without assistance. Shall I call Skywarp to aid you?"

Miles grinned: he had seen enough airshow footage and stealth aircraft documentaries to have seen how the pilots got in and out if no ladder was available.

"Can you tilt to the left a bit? I think I can do it myself," he said. If not, he could still get in, but with a bit more difficulty: he was not as fit as a USAF pilot.

As TC obligingly tilted, Miles jumped up, curling his fingers over the top edge of the cockpit where the canopy would fit when down. He used it as leverage to pull himself up enough to get a foot on the rear of the wing root, and used it to push up. As the canopy was already obligingly open, Miles pulled himself into it head-first – he was not fit enough to vault in like the Military pilots – allowing his hips and legs to be dragged in by his body weight.

What he lacked in fitness he made up for in flexibility, wriggling the right way up as if boneless before Thundercracker's canopy was fully closed, and pulling on the harness.

"Oh, you don't have a flight suit!" Thundercracker sounded almost disappointed. "I can't do any high–G aerobatics without you wearing one, but I'll rectify that." A scanning beam sprang out of the cockpit controls and ran over him. "Okay, I have your measurements, next time I'm at Nellis, I'll acquire one for you."

"You can't do any aerobatics?" Miles asked in disappointment, his voice giving his dismay away. TC chuckled, and Miles felt him take off and soar into the sky.

"I didn't say I couldn't do _any_ , human, I just said I couldn't do any that pull too high gees, but I can do some basics. I think without a suit you wouldn't be too uncomfortable between 2 and 5 gees."

Without warning, Thundercracker arced upwards in a loop, and Miles cried out in enjoyment.


	6. Chapter 6

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Five.

 

When Miles was brought back, Starscream suggested he have a rest, which Miles was glad of. He was happy to see that the pile of cloths had been replaced with a single bed and mattress.

Polishing cloths were all very well for a night or two, but as they gave no back support, he had slightly dreaded the prospect of sleeping in them every night. Grabbing a pair of PJ's, he changed into them, and then made the bed, putting the bottom and top sheets on, putting the pillows into their slips, and then the duvet in its cover. He crawled onto the bed, pulled the duvet over himself, then went to sleep not long after.

When he awoke some hours later he felt a weight at the end of the bed. Crawling out, he moved to investigate the dark shape that lay across the foot of the bed. When he grabbed hold of it and dragged it into a lighter area, he could see it was a flight suit, and when he tried it on he was pleased to find it fitted like it had been made for him. Taking it off, he lay it back over the foot of the bed, with the associated elastics, so it would be easy to find.

He quickly changed into his clothes, and stumbled out, for as Starscream's hangar at the far end was lit, day and night meant nothing to Miles, it was just sleep, wake, work, and if he was lucky, a reward, perhaps a flight in one of the two Seekers he had agreed to polish.

 

As he looked around, he realised that Starscream andThundercracker were absent, only Skywarp was present in the hangar. As he approached, Skywarp spoke.

"Starscream has gone for a flight with Thundercracker, and he told me that if you were willing, I could be polished by you. Tell me, human, are you willing?"

"Well, yeah, sure, I guess," Miles said. He went to the pile of polishing cloths, and by the time he had found a good one, Skywarp was waiting with his tin of polish.

"Okay, if you want to lie on your front, I can get to most of your body and all of your wings. Thundercracker told me yesterday that you Seekers feel vulnerable on your backs. Only your hands, tops of feet and cockpit will be all I need to have you on your back for." He paused and reconsidered. "In fact I can do your feet and hands from sitting if you want."

 

"Why, how thoughtful, I would certainly appreciate that. I believe Starscream _did_ tell us your designation but I am afraid it has slipped my mind," Skywarp said, as Miles dipped the cloth in the polishing wax.

"It's Miles, Miles Lancaster," Miles said, as he began dabbing the wax on Skywarp's side and arm.

"Well, it seems that Starscream was right when he decided to bring you in. Not only are you polite, but considerate as well."

Miles began rubbing the polish in as Starscream had shown him, and sighs from Skywarp left Miles in no doubt that he was enjoying it. The dark Seeker sat up to have his hands and feet polished, and as he did, Miles had an idea.

 

"Okay, just your canopy to do now," he said, and, groaning, Skywarp began to lower himself to the ground. "Why don't you lie on your side instead of your back?" Miles asked. "I can get at your canopy just as easily."

Humming a little, Skywarp gladly complied. Then the little human was dabbing the polish on the canopy glass in the circular motions he must have been taught by Starscream. He was relaxing happily, enjoying the polishing, when the motions of the human on his canopy glass changed.

Miles found his arm getting tired, the repetitive circular action was taking its toll. Wondering if a different movement would do, he began drawing the cloth down the canopy in long strokes, and back up. He couldn't see any difference in the clarity of the canopy, so continued the sweeping movements.

Skywarp, for his part, was not quite as relaxed as before, but he wasn't complaining. He didn't know if the human knew what his motions were doing, but the sensations the movements on the sensitive canopy were sending through him were _arousing_ the Seeker. He felt his spark beginning to warm, and the purr of his thrusters grew faster and a little deeper.

Miles did not know what the changed pitch and speed might signify, but Skywarp didn't seem distressed or angry, so he carried on. It was only when the Seeker began shaking that Miles grew alarmed and moved his hands back. Was the Seeker having some sort of fit? He was just about to back off when Skywarp grabbed him with one hand, pressing him against his canopy.

"N-no, please continue, don't st-stop," Skywarp managed to stutter out. Confused and more than just a little scared, Miles complied, wondering what had happened. As Skywarp cried out and jerked against him, Miles continued the polishing, even over bits he'd done. Skywarp had told him not to stop, so even though almost all the glass was clean, he'd continue.

Suddenly Skywarp's shaking increased violently, and Miles grabbed onto the canopy edges to avoid being thrown about between the canopy and Skywarp's hand. He turned his head to one side just as a brilliant light seemed to form in the cockpit, and then he felt a wave of energy pass over him, which made every hair on his body stand on end and his skin tingle. Then Skywarp's hand dropped away, allowing Miles to stagger backwards, his hair crackling like when it was newly washed, or had been brushed too vigorously, producing static electricity that made it fly every which way. It was one of the reasons he kept hair washes to a minimum.

 

He eyed the Seeker warily, noting the dark, semi-shuttered optics, the limp hand, the lack of thruster sound or any other sign of life, and wondered if there was something wrong with Skywarp. Should he try and contact the medic?

As he was about to go and try to contact Dr Syn, Skywarp's systems started up again with a whirr, his thrusters beginning to purr again. The Seeker unshuttered his optics and his red gaze sought for and found Miles. He must have seen the look on Miles' face for he beckoned the human over.

"Please, there is no need for alarm. Forgive me if my actions scared you, that was not my intention."

"So what was your intention?" Miles said. "And what happened to you?"

Skywarp sighed.

"When Starscream showed you how to polish us, he showed you circular movements for a reason," he said. "We Seekers are very tactile mechs, and the polishing motion Starscream showed you is the only one we _don't_ find arousing. When you changed your strokes, well, long sweeping strokes down and up or side to side on the canopy are highly arousing, we use them as a prelude to interface."

"Arousing? Interface?" Miles asked, then squeaked "You mean the motion I used was like – _foreplay_ \- for you? Sexual?"

 

He wasn't looking quite as upset as Skywarp thought he might, for research on the Internet suggested that humans could be very reticent to discuss the subject in general. Yes, most humans in this country gave their offspring The Talk when the time was right, and it seemed that what humans termed 'teenagers' talked about it – amongst themselves usually – all the time. It was even featured quite prominently in their media. Otherwise, it was a subject rarely talked about amongst adults unless it was the lead up to it. So it was a pleasant surprise that although Miles seemed a bit shocked, he wasn't disgusted or angry.

"Well, yes, but it's not quite the same, I overloaded with the sensation, a bit like what your World Wide Web says about women being able to be brought to orgasm just by being touched the right way in the right places. As I told you, we are tactile mechs, so that is very easy for us, we don't need to achieve a full Spark-merge to gain pleasure." 

His faceplates altered, worry etched all over his face. "I'm sorry, when we overload, Spark-energy is often released. Did it hurt? Are you damaged?"

"No, no, not at all," Miles said, although Skywarp’s mention of what he'd found on the World Wide Web was making him flush with embarrassment. "It just goes to show I guess what people say, we shouldn't judge alien races by ourselves. We shouldn't assume a smile or a laugh is friendly, in chimpanzees, a smile is a threat, and a laughing noise signifies anger or fear. To us a handshake is friendly, but to non-humans it could be offensive to grab someone else's hand."

 

Skywarp nodded, thinking that for one so young, Miles seemed to be wiser than some of his elders. Maybe it was in the nature of human younglings to have an open mind, or maybe this particular human was a special human, rare amongst his kind. In which case, Skywarp mused, Starscream had certainly been lucky to pick this particular human.

"Indeed, and amongst our kind, both grounders and fliers, interface – at different levels - is an integral part of our society. Sparklings get to know that the ones who pick them up most are their Creators. Younglings learn by the type and nature of contact who is friend, foe, or indifferent. When adults interface in a sexual manner, there is no stigma or fear attached, for there are no illnesses that can be passed on via interface, neither is it essential to reproduce, so for us there is no shame or stigma attached to it. On Cybertron a conversation about interface and good techniques and positions is as common as humans talking about the weather on Earth."

"Wow," Miles said. "So it's a good thing? Do you think the other two might like it as well? After all, with you I was surprised, but now I know, I don't mind. It's not unpleasant and if you like it, then that's good, right?"

"Well, you'd have to ask Thundercracker and Starscream, and it might be an idea to warn them first, but I think that yes, it is likely that they would like it. If you are willing, and the Seeker is willing, I cannot see a problem arising."

 

At that moment, the roar of two sets of thrusters signified the return of the Seekers in question, and as they walked in, Skywarp gave Miles a little push towards them. "Come on then, ask them, you wanted to know, so ask them!"

Stumbling slightly, Miles moved over to where the two other Seekers were sitting down. Starscream spotted him approaching, and beckoned him over. A few feet before he reached them he stopped, and bowed.

"Miles, why so formal? Come, sit by me, is something bothering you?" Starscream asked.

Miles shifted a little before addressing the Seeker again.

"Not as such, Leader Starscream, but I do have a question to ask you..."


	7. Chapter 7

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Six.

Autobot Base, a week later.

 

"Okay, so judging by the human-specific items taken, plus the theft of a flight suit that would fit Miles, plus the report from his Aunt that a letter arrived stating that he's on a long trip around the States, that the Decepticons want him at least healthy, and maybe happy," Lennox stated.

"Is it possible that he _is_ in fact on a trip around the States? Do we know that the Decepticons took him, or that he hasn't escaped?" Epps asked.

"The footage from his camera suggests that he was taken by Starscream," Bumblebee said. "Even if he escaped or was let go, I do not think he would just go away on a trip without telling Sam, or the girl Sam says is his girlfriend."

"Okay, perhaps we can ask Starscream straight out," Lennox said.

"Yes, I'll ask Optimus, he has the diplomacy to ask without seeming to threaten or pry," Bumblebee said.

"Perhaps he can find out why, too, if Starscream has Miles, what he wants with him?" Lennox said. "Of all the Decepticons we know are on Earth, we know Starscream particularly seems to harbour no love for any member of the human race."

 

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo

As Miles' caressing increased in speed, Starscream's growing overload hit its peak, and his cry as he overloaded had Miles covering his ears as he stumbled back to avoid being in the way, thinking that the last part of the Seeker's name was currently accurate. After a week or so of engaging in stroking and caressing each of the three Seekers several times at some point during that week, Miles was used to it, but still needed to protect his delicate ears, he decided they would never get used to it.

Starscream came out of his overload relatively quickly and spent a few seconds resting and enjoying the after-effects of his tingling hide and the relaxed feeling that swept though his frame. He then unshuttered his optics, to make sure the human was a safe distance away, and then once this was confirmed, indulged in a long and luxurious stretch before sitting up and beckoning Miles over.

"Thank you, Miles, wash yourself and change, and have something to eat, then when you're ready, bring your flight suit. I'll be going for a flight and you may accompany me. Of course, going on the flight is voluntary, but as you have never refused the opportunity from any of us, I am assuming today will be no different."

"No, Sir, it isn't," Miles replied enthusiastically. He gave Starscream a bow, the friend-to-friend bow he had been taught, and usually gave, and went off to his corner leaving a thoughtful but relaxed Starscream behind him.

When he had taken Miles it had been to investigate Barricade's claims that an organic could give an enjoyable wash to a Cybertronian. Although disbelieving, Barricade had piqued Starscream's curiosity enough for him to steal Miles away after what was a chance meeting when Starscream was out flying and had noticed Miles watching him. Some, if not most, of Barricade's claims had been verified, but one thing Starscream had _not_ expected was that he would begin to see Miles as a friend.

When Starscream first observed the dominant natives of the planet the AllSpark had landed on, he had identified them as organic as opposed to mechanical life, and he had despised them for it. He could not understand how a fleshy, weak, fragile and disgustingly moist creature could become the top creatures of their world, even if all the other life they rose above was also organic. He had seen them, just as Megatron had, as being vermin, like a plague of insects, fit perhaps for slavery, or more likely destruction, under Decepticon rule.

When he had captured Miles he had thought to perhaps keep him around for a bit, to test Barricade's theories and perhaps facilitate his own study of humans. He had decided, much to his own surprise, not to kill Miles, for the human boy's impeccable manners had earned Starscream's approval. However, he had not planned to keep Miles for a protracted period of time, nor had he intended to reward Miles as much as he had. He found his sympathies for the boy increasing, taking into account his wants and needs more than he had planned.

He had certainly not, when he had first caught him, anticipated that he would soon consider Miles as a _friend_.

Was he in some way lonely, Starscream wondered, to have so willingly taken a human under his wing? It was true that Barricade and he were often at odds with each other, the frontliner often challenged Starscream's decisions and had made his disdain of the Seeker obvious, but he had his wing brothers, who praised him and loved him, so how could he be lonely? He had certainly not _ever_ considered that Miles might be so willing to participate in their interfacing, a practice he and his wing brothers considered as much an art as their flying.

Starscream's train of thought was derailed by Miles jogging into the room in his flight suit, his eager grin and anticipation obvious to the Seeker. It sparked something in his processors, but whatever it was, it was too nebulous for Starscream to grasp at that moment. Filing it away with the thoughts he'd just been having for future perusal, he put his hands out for Miles to climb on before standing up and heading for the exit.

 

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo

Although the human boy was screaming, Starscream was aware that he was enjoying the loops and spins Starscream was executing. The first time it had occurred he'd stopped, scanning to be sure the boy was not hurt, but Miles assured the flier that he was screaming because it was fun, not because he was scared or hurt. Starscream was fairly certain that his sensitive audios would be able to detect any alteration in the pitch of the screams, and his scanners pick up any biochemical changes in the boy that might suggest fear or pain. If that happened, he would act accordingly.

He'd been out with Miles for less than twenty minutes when he was contacted by Thundercracker, who was monitoring communications. "We've been contacted by the Autobot Leader, Optimus Prime. He has requested to speak with you."

"Tell him I'm out flying. If what he wants to say is important, he'll wait," Starscream said irritably. He cut Thundercracker off and continued flying with Miles, but after some time he found himself curious about the call. He had his suspicions what it was about, but was interested to find out how the Prime would handle the situation. Cutting short the flight with an apology to Miles, Starscream landed, lifted his canopy, and waited for Miles to slide down to his wing and then jump off and back away before he flipped to robot form and stooped to pick Miles up. Miles didn't say anything, but was glad the flying was cut short, because he'd began to feel nauseous, and suspected he was coming down with a cold.

 

When Starscream got to the main room, he put Miles down on a couple of shipping containers. "Do not speak unless I say so," he said. Then Starscream walked in front of the screen of the Communications console the Decepticons had jury-rigged and told Thundercracker to send a message to the Autobots to tell them Starscream was available to speak.

The response was immediate, the screen lit up to show the upper body of Optimus Prime, and Starscream wondered if Optimus had been waiting for him to make contact, a possibility that appealed to the proud Seeker.

"What do you want, Prime?" he asked rudely.

"Decepticon Leader Starscream, we have been searching for a young human, Miles Lancaster, who has disappeared unexpectedly. Certain events and sightings lead us to wonder if you may know something regarding his whereabouts. His family and friends are concerned about him and would like to be assured of his wellbeing. If you do have him with you, may we see him, be assured that he is healthy, and ask why you have taken him, if this is in fact the case?"

Starscream briefly considered denying any knowledge of the human boy, weighed up the pros and cons of being truthful, and decided the truth would cause less potential complications later on.

"We thought that we had covered the boy's absence with that letter we asked him to write. He did say that his family and friends were not to worry about him and that he was, in fact, safe. Why the concern, why the doubt of his claim?"

"The boy's camera bears images of you speaking to him just before he disappeared. A short time later, items, many of which would only be of use to humans, were taken by a mech matching the description of Barricade. When certain items were returned, those missing were unisex objects, or male-specific, like aftershave and non-flowery deodorants. These would suggest that one or more male humans are being kept by Decepticons, and as Miles Lancaster is known to have been met by you prior to his disappearance, we wonder if he is, in fact, in your care."

"Yes, he is with us, and we are caring for his human needs," Starscream said, pleased that the Prime's reply was a statement of facts rounded up with a querying conclusion, not couched as an accusation.

"Could we see him, perhaps speak to him, so we may assure his relatives and friends that we have seen him, and have not just relied on what we have been told?" Optimus asked. He paused, before adding " _I_ believe you are being truthful, but humans would prefer that we have had visual confirmation of your assurances."

Starscream blinked at Optimus' faith in his assurances, the Prime obviously believed Starscream would be truthful as a matter of honour, which was correct, but Starscream was glad Optimus had trusted him, rather than asked him outright if he was being honest. The Prime's assumption that Starscream was a Decepticon who would at least be truthful in this situation made Starscream feel magnanimous. If the human associates of Miles wanted proof that he was safe and well, then why not? Starscream had nothing to hide on that score.

 

"If the human acquiesces, for it must be his choice as well, I see no reason not to give you the visual proof your doubtful human allies seem to require," Starscream said, allowing his disdain for the humans to show in his voice as he mentioned them. "It seems _they_ do not trust me as you have indicated that you do."

"It is not a mark of disrespect, not is it doubt, but a human desire to know things first-hand. They live for so short a time that they do not find waiting easy, nor do they fully understand that those they see as enemies may have an honour-code they do not know of. They are so used to other humans lying that they find themselves unable to know if their non-human enemies would be any different."

"Then they shall have their proof," Starscream said, looking over at Miles. "That is if, if you wish it?"

"Yeah, okay, if it makes them happier, that's fine by me," Miles said, having found on earlier that slang was not, and probably would never be, understood by Starscream. After telling him that something was 'cool', the Seeker had given him a confused look, and then called for an increase in the heating. Twenty minutes later of trying and failing to explain the use and purpose of slang to Starscream, Miles had told Starscream not to worry about it, and watched his language since then.

 

Starscream moved over to scoop Miles up, the human having half-shed the flight suit, and stood in front of the screen so the camera recording his image to be sent to the Autobots' Communications console could 'see' the human. Optimus nodded, his optics taking in the flight suit, Miles' physical appearance, and the relaxed way Miles was half-sat and half-reclined in Starscream's hand. Optimus was satisfied that the human looked well-fed and happy enough, an opinion seconded by Ratchet (who was standing just out of their camera's sight) via com.

"Um, hi guys, I mean mechs, I guess I don't know all of you, just Bumblebee I think, but hi, and thanks for your concern, but can you let my aunt, and Carissima, and anyone else worried, know that I'm fine. Starscream and the others are treating me well, and well, I guess it has its own rewards," Miles said, with a polite turn of phrase that gave nothing away that Starscream admired.

"So, Prime, have you had enough visual proof that Miles is safe and well and happy?" Starscream asked sharply.

"The answer is yes," Optimus said. "Whatever the rewards are that you are giving him seem to have overcome any objections he may have."

"In which case, may I receive your permission to discontinue this discussion, so my wing brothers and our friend can get on with living rather than talking?" Starscream asked acerbically. Then, without waiting for a reply, he terminated the conversation, unaware of how puzzled the Autobots he had cut off were.

 

"Miles, could I ask for a polish?" Skywarp asked. "I can give you a night-flight, perhaps you can tell me the constellations here, and I can tell you, and holographically show you, the Cybertronian ones."

"Yeah, sure," Miles said, still feeling a little sick, though he didn't mention it, just hoped he'd quickly throw the cold he must have caught from somewhere. Walking over to the tin of polish Skywarp had produced from who-knew-where, Miles wearily picked up a sheet from the pile and began to polish the Seeker.


	8. Chapter 8

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> WARNING: description of vomiting in the last paragraph.

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Seven.

 

Autobot Base Communications Room.

" _Friend_?" Ratchet burst out, his tone amazed and disbelieving, when the communication cut.

Optimus' querying gaze met the medic's, and the Prime did not say what he was planning to say, but kept silent to hear what else Ratchet had to say, for sometimes the medic could bring a different opinion in a way nobody else had thought of into any discussion. Ratchet, rightly interpreting Optimus' look as a request to continue, was pleased to do just that.

"I wonder if Starscream meant the term to mean him and all the Decepticons, or, a far more likely possibility, meaning Miles and the Seekers?" Ratchet queried. "In either case, how has he earned the title 'friend?' Either way, he should be safe, as long as any threat to Miles is detected, Miles will be protected in one way or another. However, for a non-Cybertronian to be accepted as a friend, either by Starscream's Seekers, or the entire Decepticon contingent on Earth, is a big thing. Either the Decepticons or the Seekers must value him in some way, but either way, he is safe, although the reason why may not be immediately apparent."

"We will tell the humans we have ascertained his location, and that he is not only healthy, but happy," Optimus said. "We can, if his family wish, push the issue if the boy allows it, by asking if he accepts Starscream's guardianship, but we should warn them that if he does, they may lose, in Cybertronian eyes, their right to look after him," Optimus mused.

"Then perhaps we should make sure they know, before asking Starscream if he will allow them to talk to him, just how much they risk losing by pressing him to choose between them, and him," Ratchet said. "Maybe, with rational thought, and us and the humans sharing our thoughts and opinions, something acceptable to all can be worked out." He paused. "It seems Miles has made friends among the Seekers at least. I wonder if he realises what that means for him, and the Seekers?"

Ironhide raised one jointed forefinger. "It all depends on what has impressed them, and on whether it's an all-Decepticon friendship, or a Seeker friendship.

 

"I hope, for his sake, and for ours, that he impressed _all_ the Decepticons," Ratchet said. "If otherwise, Miles may have taken on something he doesn't understand, especially at his age."

"If you're talking about sex," Sam, who was at the Base with Mikaela interjected, "Miles may be well out of his league."

"Don't be so sure," Mikaela smiled. "If he's as quick as you were with Bumblebee to catch on, he'll be fine. Anyway can you see Starscream enjoying interfacing with a _human_?" From the corner of her eye Mikaela saw Ironhide and Optimus leave the room, silent, but the movements of their hands and the way they kept looking at each other suggesting they were comming a conversation.

"If the human is Miles, then yes," Sam fretted, bringing her attention back to him. "He's plane – aircraft plane that is – crazy!"

"But would it translate into Cybertronian? If Miles didn't know he was arousing Starscream, could Starscream take it that way?" fretted Mikaela.

"Unfortunately, Seekers take what they can see as what is, and can let their needs overcome common sense," Ratchet said. "If Starscream, or any other members of his trine, have become that fond of Miles, this could become complicated," Ratchet admitted. "And bad for Miles, if their friendship becomes too intimate."

"Why? What do you mean? I mean Bumblebee and I are" – he coughed – "intimate, why would it be bad for Miles?"

 

"Does Bumblebee expose his Spark to you?" Ratchet asked. "During interface, or at any other time?"

"Well, yes, I guess he does, but not that often and not for long, if you really must know," Sam said, going red and wondering if this discussion had been deliberately directed by the medic so Ratchet could poke his mechanical proboscis into his and 'Bee's relationship. He'd never pegged Ratchet as a gossip, but the medic had shown voyeuristic tendencies.

"Well, that's good, and shouldn't do you any harm, Bumblebee has been warned that certain aspects of Spark radiation can be harmful to humans in large enough amounts, so he's careful," the medic said. "But if Miles gets intimate with any of them, not only may the Seekers not know or not take care, but it's likely all three will join in, Seekers are like that."

"So, not just a longer time of exposure, but three Spark's worth," Mikaela worked out. "You mean it would be detrimental to Miles? How?"

"Cybertronian Sparks contain elements that emit dangerous ionising radiation. Humans are vulnerable to this, hence my warning Bumblebee about exposing his Spark to Sam. Amongst other harmful emissions, Sparks radiate beta particles, gamma rays, and X-rays."

"X-rays? Your sparks are sort of nuclear?" Mikaela asked. "Are you saying that with too much exposure Miles could end up getting sick?"

"Yes," Ratchet said and was about to say more when Sam jumped in.

"But we have no reason to believe Miles is that close, he's a human, not a Seeker, he'll have some of the hang-ups I had," Sam said. "He's only been there a week, I doubt he's gotten that close. Anyway, when I saw him, he looked perfectly healthy."

"He looked a bit pale to me," Mikaela said. Sam laughed.

"Miles is blonde and fair-skinned, he _always_  looks pale, unless he gets sunburn, and then he's red," Sam said, and now it was Mikaela's time to laugh.

The two humans left the communications room, while Ratchet headed back to the med bay. The medic went back to recalibrating and inventorying his instrument, putting the conversation they had just had to be back if his processors. He had soon effectively, in the short term at least, forgotten the conversation.

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo 

"Well, now you've finished polishing me, I can take you out," Skywarp said to Miles.

"Would you mind if I did that later?" Miles asked. "I'm feeling rather tired." He had pretty much expected, he had to admit, that the polishing would finish with an interface session, and had not been disappointed, especially when the others heard Skywarp's moans and came to join in, but he hadn't expected to feel _that_ tired. He was still feeling ill, and silently cursed the dratted cold he seemed to be coming down with.

"Of course," Skywarp said, guessing that for a human, Miles had done a lot, polishing two Seekers in one day. "You go to bed." Guiltily, he wondered if he and the Trine had put too much on the young human, whom Skywarp was beginning to think was not so unlike them after all.

Miles went to his bed area and did just that, falling asleep not long after, although, unbeknownst to him, he twisted and cried out in his dreams.

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo

As Starscream stretched out on the surface he and his wing brothers used as a berth, the nebulous thoughts about Miles suddenly coalesced into something more solid. He now knew why Miles appealed to him, and in some ways like his own wing brothers.

He sat up, immediately gaining Thundercracker's and Skywarp's attention, for they had been cuddling down ready to enter recharge, and they cried out in disappointment.

"Is it just me, or do either of you have any feelings about the boy? Speak truthfully, I'm trying to work something out, and your thoughts may help," he said.

"I quite like him," Thundercracker said. "He's swift, gentle, nimble, eager to please, and suitably in awe of such magnificent fliers such as we. I like being able to give him a chance of flight that he would otherwise never have, and he certainly professes much gratitude, that so far as I can tell is genuine."

"And he seems happy to interface, and ooh! Those little delicate hands of his find all the little hidden sensitive places we can't easily get to on each other, and he doesn't seem to mind that much, he's not embarrassed about what to him must be analogous to sexual intercourse like some members of his species are," Skywarp added. "And I get the impression that he enjoys it too, almost as much as we do. Yes, Starscream, I feel you were right to name him friend." Beside him, Thundercracker murmured agreement.

The last piece of the puzzle fitted in Starscream's mind. "That's it, you've got it exactly right!" he said. "We feel so for him because apart from being human and wingless, he's almost like a Seeker, at least in spirit! He loves flight and seems to love interface too, just as we do. Although human in body, Miles is a Seeker in spirit!"

"I do believe you're right," Skywarp said. "I wonder if we can find a way to transfer his essence into a Seeker body, as he doesn't possess a distinct Spark it would be difficult, but with time and thought,-"

"Yes, yes, but you won't even start it in one night. So can you work it out tomorrow? I want to recharge, and I prefer to recharge with you both next to me," Thundercracker groused petulantly. "I want my pre-recharge snuggles with the both of you!"

"Yes you're right, and there's no rush right now, we can start trying to work it out tomorrow," Starscream said. "It will likely take years just to work out the how, then we'll need a body, and a transfer method. Let's sleep on it brothers, I think it will be enough at first to know Miles is, in everything but form, a Seeker."

"Perhaps we can tell him tomorrow, make him an honorary Seeker," Skywarp said.

"Can we leave it till tomorrow, please?" Thundercracker whined. "I'd like my snuggles _now_ if you don't mind and I know we all need to recharge and you like cuddling too. He's not going to disappear overnight, or have a grounder spirit if we don't do anything by tomorrow. Recharge, perhaps with refreshed processors you might get some ideas."

"You're right, TC," Starscream said, lying down and cuddling up to his wing brother while Skywarp did likewise on the other side. "Recharge first, then ideas."

There was a little adjustment among the Seekers, and then they went still, a tight cluster of entangled limbs, bodies and wings, as they all dropped into recharge.

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo 

When Miles woke up realising 8am had arrived, (for Barricade had obtained a clock for him,) although he still didn't feel very well, he got up and dressed in a hurry. Starscream would be expecting him to be up and attending him and his wing brothers, cold or no cold, although now he came to think of it, he didn't feel stuffed up, or like his nose would run, or at all sneezy. Maybe a slight sore throat, and that nauseous feeling, but that was all. Maybe he had stomach flu? He decided perhaps he'd better stay on fluids for that day, and – he sighed wistfully – decline any offers of flights until he felt better.

He grabbed a bottle of water and began to drink it, but the sick feeling got worse so he closed the bottle and put it in his front pants pocket. He had taken just a few steps into the main hangar, heading for Starscream and his wing brothers, when his stomach suddenly spasmed, ejecting the contents of his stomach over the hangar floor as Miles doubled up with the force of the cramp. As the Seekers cried out and backed off, Miles' stomach contracted again, and then again, the bottle of water falling from his pocket and rolling on to the floor as he sank to his knees, doubled up, and continued vomiting uncontrollably.


	9. Chapter 9

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Warning: mention of vomit and vomiting.
> 
> Credit and thanks to writer MeowthTwo for her character, Dr Syn, who is used with her knowledge and permission.

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Eight.

Miles was vaguely aware that the Seekers were still shouting and crying out as he lay on the ground, dry heaving, having brought up everything in his stomach. He was still nauseous, and feeling weak and trembly, and even when the heaving stopped, he dared not move in case it set him off again.

He wasn't sure how long he lay there before he heard a voice calling his name. He opened an eye to see the jolly Decepticon medic he'd met earlier, Dr Syn, bending over him, not looking so jolly at that particular moment. Having assured himself that Miles was conscious, the medic reached for a cloth to mop up the vomit, asking Starscream sharply "What happened?"

"He was coming out of his area, and just started ejecting his stomach contents without warning," Starscream said.

"Did you see anything odd, did he seem unwell, or different, or uncomfortable?" the medic asked.

"He did ask to skip a flight I was going to give him," Skywarp said "but he said he was tired."

"I don't recall him saying anything to give me any cause for concern," Starscream said, and Thundercracker nodded in agreement. Dr Syn crouched down by the human boy, and asked "Have you felt ill before this, or has this come on suddenly?"

"Felt sick a bit yesterday, and felt tired, but I just thought I had a cold," Miles murmured, beginning to wonder if he could move without heaving.

"There are bacteria on the planet that can cause nausea and vomiting, ranging from a 24 hour condition that is a nuisance for healthy people, up to and including viruses that can eventually cause haemorrhage, delirium, dehydration, and death," the medic said, having read up on humans and their diseases and illnesses just in case.

"Death?" Miles asked nervously.

"I think that most of the more serious illnesses can be ruled out, unless you've travelled abroad in the last six weeks?" the doctor asked.

"No," Miles said. "Can't afford it, and there are things in my own country I want to see, I don't need to go abroad, at least not yet."

"Then we can rule out tropical diseases, plus anything that cannot survive outside the human body for more than a week or two, for you've not met any other humans since then." Dr Syn asked for and received a clean cloth, and he draped it over Miles before picking him up in it.

Miles' stomach lurched and he retched once, but the anticipated heaves did not, thankfully, materialise.

"I will take you to my med bay to check you over to ascertain what ails you. I can set you up on a drip, as I fear ingestion would lead to you vomiting again."

"Okay," Miles said, fearing that to nod or make any other non-verbal gesture might set him off again. He closed his eyes and allowed the doctor to carry him to the medbay. When he felt himself put down he opened his eyes gingerly.

He was on a shiny silver-coloured metal surface that was so highly-polished he could see his own drawn pale face in it. Looking back up at the medic, he found a green scanning beam playing over him.

"Well, I can't find anything bacterial or viral that could be causing your symptoms, although there _is_ a slight lack of vitamins and minerals in your system. This suggests that you have not been eating healthily, which will not help the problem even if it does not make it worse," the medic said. Miles groaned, a lecture on healthy eating was the last thing he needed, but his spirits lifted a little as the medic continued.

"However, my reading informs me that this is not an uncommon phenomenon during late adolescence, and that in the short-term at least, vitamin substitutes can be a temporary solution. However, in the long-term, healthy eating should be encouraged." The medic looked up. "Something to be dealt with later, I can acquire some supplements for you soon."

"Okay," Miles said, not daring to nod but guessing the medic was expecting some sort of response. The medic seemed to be doing something with polishing cloths and what appeared to be strips of metal or wood, and as Miles watched, the medic made what seemed to be a passable temporary bed. He tensed slightly as the medic lifted him and placed him in it, but was pleasantly surprised to find that it was not as hard and unyielding as the wood and metal used had made it appear, and he sighed in relief as his body relaxed, the medic putting a rolled-up cloth under his head and spreading another two or three over him. "This will have to do for now, but I have sent Payload out with a list of items I have asked him to obtain. There are a couple of dumps for unwanted medical equipment we can get certain items from, for single-use or fragile items he will get them from a warehouse, where their absence will not be noticed for some time, if at all." He paused to give Miles a moistened cloth to keep his mouth from becoming too dry before continuing.

"Now, I know this may take some time, but can you detail for me, even the smallest thing, even if it seems unimportant because it may bear on your illness, everything that you have been doing, with or without the Seekers, within the last ten days…"

 

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"Okay, are you certain you have told me everything you can remember?" the medic said once Miles had said he was finished. "Think for a few minutes, and if you remember anything you haven't told me, let me know."

Miles thought for a few moments, recalled a few small things he'd forgotten, mentioned them, thought again, and then said "No, I think that's it."

"Well, I can tell you that I can rule out the majority of infectious agents, and the ones I cannot rule out I can scan for, though I will need to recalibrate my sensors. I shall also scan for any imbalances in your organic systems, your brain, and your biochemistry. For now, when Payload returns, I can put you on a saline drip to keep you hydrated, as taking fluids by mouth is contra-indicated by the fact you are vomiting. There are some solutions I can use to give you vitamins and energy, Hartmanns solution, and glucose solution, which I asked Payload to obtain, and again, if possible, to acquire some discarded due to a close expiry date or over-ordering."

"Won't it be noticed, somehow and somewhere?" Miles asked.

"Indeed it will if we keep needing to take human specific items and medical equipment, which is why I hope to talk to Starscream about allowing the Decepticons some sort of commerce with your country, which will, of course, require first of all making peace, even if it _is_ short term, or else we will have to go via underground channels, which could carry a risk. How will we know if we are given the right substance unless or until something goes wrong? Legal and genuine methods and routes would be preferable for us all, but we will have to work something out with the humans if it is to be worthwhile, I think even Starscream and Barricade both may be realising this."

"And I guess what you would have to trade would be your abilities and expertise, or your technology, rather than materials or money," Miles said.

"Not our technology, but perhaps our abilities and perhaps for services that our greater size and armouring may give us preference over humans, for reasons of safety and ability," the medic said. "Technology can be too often turned from peaceful uses to wage war on others, we too are a warlike race, and we are similar in that aspect, although I believe we are similar in other ways too. If we could make peace long enough for both sides to see those similarities that we share, a lasting truce and perhaps an alliance, can be built on that. What do you think, Payload?" the medic said, suddenly turning to look at the medical-symbol marked security truck that had, unseen and unheard by Miles, slipped in behind them.

Miles wondered just how the medic had known the other Decepticon was there, sensors perhaps, as Payload turned, opened his doors, and allowed the medic to take out the contents of his mobile vault. As the items were removed, Payload twisted and shifted in the way that Miles had become familiar with, and as his head emerged, Payload noticed that Miles was looking at his face, had worked out where his head would be. The unexpected courtesy made Payload give the human a small smile in return.

"If it keeps Starscream in the good mood he's been in recently, I'm all for it, though I'd hope that it would be a fair trade for us," Payload said.

"When humans want to transport valuables, they'll pay what they have to to ensure their safety, and I'd be willing to bet that the other companies would have nothing on you, their trucks can't transform into twenty foot of fully armed, pissed-off robot if an attempt is made to hijack them," Miles said.

Payload grinned, he had obviously looked up the meaning of 'pissed off' on the Internet, Miles thought. "I like that, human, and I like your idea," the security truck Decepticon said. "I could either hire myself out to the human companies, or even set myself up in competition against them."

"Do both," Miles suggested. "Hire yourself out to one of the human companies, learn the hows and whys, the legislation and the rules, what may or may not happen, and pick up some human tech while you're at it to reinforce your own security, but only if you think it'll help, of course. Then you leave, with the knowledge you've picked up, and set up your own business. Or agree to stay with them if they give you a raise, or accommodate you in other ways, maybe you and the driver or drivers might become friends so you won't want to leave, but at least push for special benefits for your special service. You could ask for a cut of the fee, or they can levy an extra fee that you get from the valuables' owners." Payload nodded, and looked thoughtful as he walked out of the med bay.

"Well, you seem to have perked up a little, Miles," the medic said as he picked up a drip pole and discreetly pushed a commode behind the human boy's bed and the drip stand beside it. Miles was glad to see the commode, knowing he'd have to 'go' sometime, likely sooner rather than later. To Miles' surprise, a bag of clear drip fluid seemed to levitate up to the hook on the pole, and tubing seemed to magically attach to the bags.

"How do you do that?" Miles asked.

"I have tractor beans and pressor beams," the medic said. "It helps when I need to manipulate small items or small parts, and sometimes smaller robots."

"Tractor beams I've heard of, but not pressor beams," Miles said. "What are those?"

"Pressor beams are the opposite of tractor beams, they push instead of pull. Here, let me demonstrate." Miles felt a gentle force grip and pull his arm straight. "That's the tractor beam. I'm going to use the pressor beam to give you a cannula into your vein, so I can take blood and give you a drip without having to puncture you too often."

Miles watched as the cannula seemed to levitate into the air. It was a small plastic device with a tube that was currently filled by a needle, and two or three plastic valves. The medic scanned for a useable vein, then inserted the cannula, Miles feeling the usual swift pain of a needle, which was then withdrawn, leaving the flexible plastic tube of the cannula in his vein, the valves on the outside by the skin. Some hypo-allergenic medical sticking plaster was applied to keep it in place, and Miles felt the light pressure on his arm, then the tubes on the drip were attached.

"Lift your other arm," Dr Syn instructed, and Miles did, and again he felt the tug of the tractor beam. "Pull against the beam, pull your arm towards yourself," the medic instructed, and Miles did. For a second he felt the beam release him, then felt pressure on his arm, pushing it towards him. "Now, push away," the doctor intoned, and Miles followed his instructions.

"That's pretty cool," Miles admitted as he felt the pressure fall away. "I guess you could grab, or pull or push as needed with those, but this is the first time I've seen you do so. Why is that?"

"Firstly, I've not needed to till now, my hands could do what I needed with you until it came to inserting the drip," the brown mech explained. "Secondly, they use a lot of energy, so where I can, I use my hands. However, as you are so small and fragile, the beams were needed to treat you."

"I guess you can project holograms, like the others," Miles said. "Could you use those in conjunction with your holograms, to make them seem solid?" Miles asked.

"Well, yes, I could, if the circumstances warranted, for example if I had to treat a human who was scared of robots, I could project a holoform and use the beams for the hands to grip or the arms to lift, but the rest of the hologram would still not be solid, so it has its limitations too. Starscream is working on a small human-shaped force field that could be projected to give the illusion of a solid body, but it's low on his priorities and will take some time to build the emitters into me."

He scanned Miles again, and then asked "Are you aware that some forms of ionising radiation are dangerous to your form of life?"

Miles, who had taken part in his share of anti-nuclear protests, and knew exactly what the consequences of a nuclear accident could involve, nodded. "Yeah, humans and radiation don't exactly mix well, not if the levels of radiation are too high."

"Are you also aware that the Sparks of Cybertronians can emit the wave forms that can cause humans to fall ill?"

"No, I didn't!" Miles exclaimed. "If I'd known, I would have stood further back when assisting the interface of the Seekers, or got out of the way!"

"I believe, Miles, that this may be what is wrong with you. I believe you may be suffering from the effects of mild radiation sickness, which should pass completely within the next seventy-two hours. While you are recovering, I will advise Starscream and his wing brothers what is wrong with you, and help them to re-tune their Spark force-fields to reflect back ionising radiation. That way, when you return to them, you can still participate in their interface without risking your own health.

"Yeah, I guess, but will the dose I've taken leave me with ay health risks?"

"I believe current literature does indicate a slightly raised risk of developing cancers or immune deficiency conditions, and there is a slight risk of mutation or radiation-induced sickness in any offspring you may have, but if you wish, I can scan you every six months to pick up any early changes, and should you take a mate, I can check on her or for any abnormalities of her child each month. If caught early enough, I am sure I can do something to mitigate or treat any sickness the child may develop. I personally doubt the short and mild overexposure you have had from the Seekers will affect you or those of your line, but we can do these checks to be safe."

"I guess that's a relief," Miles said, feeling tired. "Can I rest now? I still feel a bit nauseous."

"Certainly Miles, I will replace your drip bags as needed if required," the medic said. "For now, I need to talk to Starscream about how he can best look after you, his human friend."

Miles listened as the medic walked out of the med bay, then rolled onto his side, closed his eyes and went to sleep.


	10. Chapter 10

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Dr Syn is The creation of MeowthTwo's (FanfictionDOTnet) used with her knowledge and permission.

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Nine.

 

Starscream was watching the entrance doors to his hangar doors nervously, waiting for Dr Syn to come back in and let him know if Miles was okay or not.

He'd managed to get the vomit cleaned up, by expediently delegating the clean-up task to Swindle, who had earned Starscream's disfavour an orn or so back. The little red mech had been vocal in his disgust, but Starscream had allowed him his tirade about revolting organic secretions until, in a fit of pique and distress, Swindle had criticised Miles himself, and followed it up with an accusation that Starscream was going soft. At which point, Swindle had been punted out of the hangar on the end of Starscream's foot, and told to go out on a long patrol, and to not return until Starscream said he could. A polishing cloth and a liberal splash of industrial standard bleach had made sure the job was completed, with no unpleasant smells remaining.

Concentrating as hard as he was, Starscream still jumped when the medic commed him to ask if he could come in, and Starscream composed himself a little before admitting the brown mech in.

 

He moved into the hangar and bowed. Unlike many of the other grounders, Dr Syn never skimped on the gestures or phrases that indicated a grounder's respect for the winged Seekers that the latter felt they deserved. His bow was neither over-obsequious, nor skimped, it was a gesture given by one highly ranked person - as a medic, Dr Syn's profession gave him status - to higher-ranked people, in this case, the Decepticon Seekers. Starscream was both grateful and impressed by how well the medic seemed to read people, and respond appropriately, and the medic, even though a grounder, was ranked among Starscream's favoured mechs.

The medic straightened from his bow and approached closer. His customary cheerful smile was in place, and though Starscream could see no stiffness or forced jollity in his bearing, he still got the impression that the doctor was not as relaxed as he appeared. Something about his eyes suggested he was annoyed, and although Starscream had rarely been on the receiving end, he tensed. It took rather a lot, he knew, to tick the medic off, and he wondered what had happened to cause it. His processors lurched as he wondered if something he had done had damaged the boy irreparably.

"Permission to speak, Lord Starscream?" This too worried Starscream, the three Seekers and the medic were usually on informal first-name terms, except when Starscream wanted Dr Syn to demonstrate polite conduct to the grounders, in the slender hope they might get the hint. For the medic to go formal on him, in his own hangar, was another sign that Starscream had somehow upset the doctor.

"Granted," Starscream remarked in kind. He didn't offer the medic to sit, nor did he offer him energon; in this mood, the doctor would, Starscream knew, refuse.

 

"Lord Starscream, the human boy will recover within a few joors, with no further ill effects," Dr Syn said.

"Thank Primus!" Starscream breathed, earning himself a look from Thundercracker. "What was wrong with him?"

"It seems that although you and he all enjoyed the interface session he detailed when I insisted, despite his reluctance and embarrassment, his physical structure suffered. Cybertronian Sparks emit ionising radiation that is inimical above certain doses to organic denizens of this world, and humans are far from immune. In fact their tolerance is fairly low even compared to some of the animals of this world, and certainly low in comparison to our own tolerance."

The smile on the medic's face, although still there, was neither as broad nor as relaxed as usual, and Starscream knew this was what had upset the generally congenial doctor.

"I didn't know," Starscream said in a quiet voice. "The first time was an accident, or at least he didn't _seem_ to mind."

"One or two or even three exposures would be well within his tolerances, so he wouldn't feel bad. However, the repeated exposures have pushed him over the safe limit. We are lucky that humans respond quickly and noticeably to even a slight amount over their tolerances by becoming ill. From this he will recover, but if he had received too much radioactive exposure, he would have painfully and messily _died_!"

The smile was gone and his mobile eyebrows were drawn close to his eye sockets in an expression akin to a human frown as the medic spread his hand and said "If you had asked about the effect of Spark energy on humans, this illness could have been avoided. Why, after the first incident, didn't you _ask_?"

"I didn't think to, he seemed fine, but I understand I should have made sure," Starscream said quietly. "I'm sorry, Dr Syn, I'll be more careful in future."

 

"Well, no permanent harm has been done, so don't worry too much about it, with due care and attention, Miles will live a long, happy, and healthy life." The medic's easy smile was back in place, and Starscream knew the apology and assurance was what the medic had been looking for, and now he knew Starscream would think before he acted in new events or took Miles for new experiences, he was mollified.

"Now, Starscream, Thundercracker, and Skywarp, how about we sit down together, and you bring out some of that special energon I know you had Skywarp filch from Ratchet's stores. I can explain to you how you can adjust the setting of your spark force-fields so that the dangerous radiation is kept in so Miles is not endangered by it while you interface." he asked.

"We can do that?" Thundercracker said in relief, having visualised their sessions with Miles severely curtailed.

"As I said, had this matter been brought to me earlier, it could have been done by now, and your human would _not_ have become sick," the doctor said as Starscream unsubspaced an energon canister and some drinking cubes.

"Perhaps if you help us, Doctor, we can make sure we do not cause him to be sick again," Starscream said, giving the medic a drinking cube as Syn sat down, and filling it with energon. Starscream relaxed, for all the signs were that Dr Syn was back to his usual self.

"While we're talking about the human boy, maybe we can run some thoughts we were having just last night about him past you?" Skywarp asked, his mind returning to the conversation they'd had before their recharge.

"Certainly," Dr Syn said. "I've just asked you to check with me if you 're thinking of doing anything to or with the human that you're not sure about first."

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo

 

Miles woke three times, each time needing to use the commode, recalling that mild radiation sickness sent the other end of the digestive tract into spasm as well, so knowing it was not unexpected. After the third forcible bowel evacuation, he took one of the sheets off his bed and folded it over the hole that led into the disposable cardboard liner to muffle the stench, which was making him feel nauseous again. When he awoke for the fourth time, he noticed the drip bag had been changed, and as the sheet was off the commode and there was no associated atrocious smell, the liner must have been changed.

Movement to one side made him look, and he saw the brown medic, who came over as Miles, realising he had to use the commode again, began sitting up and pushing back the sheets.

"How are you feeling, Miles?" the mech asked.

"Desperate to go," Miles said, pushing himself to the commode, loosening his trousers, and sitting down. A symphony of audible gaseous emissions and bowel wall spasms announced that they were still expelling mainly liquid waste at a prodigious rate.

As Miles rose and wiped himself with the soft tissue on a roll nearby, the doctor covered his nose and removed the commode liner, replacing it with an alacrity that irrationally pleased Miles, and disposed of the smelly one with just as much haste but a bit more care.

 

"I was talking with the Seekers, Miles, and it appears you meet with their approval, enough so that not only have they adjusted their Spark force-fields to stop you getting sick again if you and they interface, but so much that they wonder about putting your memories and consciousness into a body like theirs."

"Could that be done?" Miles asked.

"The transition from organic to Spark-life would be problematic, but I think we could solve it given time," the medic said cheerfully, "so yes, I believe it's possible, but not immediately I'm afraid."

"Well, I gotta admit, I got things I'd like to do as a human first, maybe raise a family, see some caves and climb a mountain or two, amongst other things," Miles said. "But if I could be transferred later, maybe if my own body gets a bit rickety as I age, I guess being able to fly would be a pretty neat incentive then," he said.

"I think you've thought it through pretty well," Dr Syn said "and I'll let Starscream know, along with your ideas for what we could do in peacetime. I think Starscream knows, deep down, with the dwindling resources of this world, he can't just _take_ , and in fact may be able to help humans use the resources they have more effectively, perhaps find them a new source of energy, and thus they would be in his debt. Starscream's a scientist you see, and if he helps the humans with this, he will gain kudos and probably gain the Decepticons a place in the world without having to sneak and steal to do so. Despite outwards appearance, Starscream would be happy to do that, in return for a fair wage and being praised for his efforts. Seekers may be vain creatures, but with the varied talents they possess, they have every right to be. They are usually so much more than just a pretty frame."

Miles nodded slowly in agreement, still wary of his fickle stomach, which was now, so far, behaving itself. He remembered how Starscream had preened at his praise on the Lookout, and vaguely wondered if his flattering remarks had played any part in the Seeker choosing him to ask for washes.

 

"Anyway, in a day or two, you'll be ready to go back out and join the Seekers again, and may I tell you that you're missed? Skywarp was the one who brought up the subject of making you a Seeker, and the other two were quick to support him. You've made an impression on them, and on Dropkick too. It may be a good idea if you suggest making peace, explain that other humans are like you, and worth trying to get to know as a species. Whereas from me, or from a President or military-appointed human, they might dismiss the suggestion, from you they may just listen."

He turned to leave, then swung back around to face Miles again.

"You have gained the respect and admiration of the three Seekers, one of whom now leads the Deceptions. They see you as almost equal to them, and it is not something they do lightly. Never underestimate the power that gives you."


	11. Chapter 11

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Ten.

Two days later.

 

"You want to explore _caves_?" Starscream said with a visible shudder that made Miles back off in caution.

The human had been champing at the bit to get back to Starscream and the others when he'd started feeling better, because the medic was all right and all that, but being stuck in bed anywhere was boring. He'd finally been released, and once he'd begun polishing Starscream, the Seeker wanted to talk about Miles' objections to going into a Seeker form until he was older.

"Well, yeah, there are some beautiful formations I'd like to see, and some of them have paintings in," Miles explained.

"But aren't they documented on your Internet?" Starscream said, projecting holograms of the cave art of Chauvet and Lascaux caves he'd found online.

"Yeah they are, but that's not the same as _going_ there and seeing things yourself," Miles said. "Would you have stayed at home if you could see the sights of another galaxy just by going online or looking in a book?"

"Well, no, I see your point there. It's the subject matter that I find odd. Stars, I can see why anybody would want to go and see them, but I ask you, _caves_?" He swept his hand out to include his wing brothers, who joined him in a synchronised shudder of disgust.

"Well, I'll be too big, and presumably claustrophobic, when I'm a Seeker, so I kind of thought to take the opportunity while I can," Miles said.

"If that's your thing, go for it," Starscream said, while over com acknowledging his wing brother's comments of ' **He said when, not if! He might be agreeable!'** with an affirmative sound.

"I mean, I'm sure I'll love it, I've always _wanted_ to fly!" Miles said. "But you say the medic says it'll probably take time, so I thought that while waiting, why not draw up a to-do list and do it?"

"Yes I understand that, but _caves_!" Starscream said with another exaggerated shudder.

"Well let's just agree that we have different opinions on that and let it be," Miles said. "I'm not asking you to come with me."

"I should hope not!" squealed Thundercracker, "If you did, the answer would be no, no, absolutely not!"

"So, as it'll take time, and we can wait, I don't see why Miles shouldn't do what he wants," Skywarp said.

"But we lose our best polisher and an interface partner if we do," Thundercracker said despondently.

"Hey, I promise to come back between excursions, and I'll bring pictures," Miles said.

"Of the caves I think we'll pass, thanks but no thanks!" Starscream said. "Maybe the other things you do might interest us, pictures from the tops of the mountains you climb, or pictures of the rainforest and its denizens. That I think we'd like to see."

"Will you be allowed to come back?" Thundercracker asked. "After all, Starscream kind of kidnapped you, wouldn't it be odd for you to come back to those who took you? Won't your parents or the state or something want revenge?"

"I wasn't exactly unwilling," Miles said, "so I can tell them I went with you of my own accord. I may not be a full adult yet, but I'm considered old enough to know my own mind. Anyway, what about if you came back with me and offered, say, a ceasefire, and asked for talks? I could put in a word for you, and if you and humans could reach agreement, I bet you'd have hundreds of people wanting to polish you!"

"What about the Autobots? Would they allow it?"

"Personally I don't think it's their business if you want a ceasefire with the humans, Starscream, but why not ask them for a ceasefire too? If they refuse, they'll be seen as the aggressors, yet you tell me they profess to want peace. If that's true, won't they even welcome talks about peace talks?" Miles asked.

"I guess so, yes, and I must admit, it would be a fantastic prank, for _us_ to ask for peace from both sides, instead of _them_ asking it of _us_ ," Skywarp said.

"Pre-empt them, yes!" Miles said. "I bet the humans would be surprised too if you offered without them having to tempt you with something, and it'll put you in a better position to bargain, if you're the instigator."

"Yes, I see, because we are offering, not begging or asking, but _offering_ , like a concession, peace, it's down to them to offer us terms, which we can accept, reject, or bargain for a better deal for us," Starscream said.

"Don't push too hard or you won't get anywhere," Miles said. "Why not ask for the same concessions they give to the Autobots in return for a lasting treaty, reviewable every few years or so?" Miles asked.

"Yes, we always said the Decepticon cause was equality with the Autobots, and it is. We can ask the humans to accept us as they do the Autobots, and the Autobots to acknowledge our right to live on the same world and under the same constraints and benefits," Starscream said. He scooped Miles up in a hand and gently held him to a cheek. "Clever Miles! Well done, I'm glad I brought you here, more so than I was at first."

Miles took the opportunity to stroke the Seeker's sensitive faceplates, which Starscream responded to with sighs and mewls of pleasure.

"But we have military alts, what would we do?" Thundercracker asked.

"The USAF might wish to employ you, and if you are loath to be used in human combat, say so, "Miles said. They might want to use you to help train their pilots, hone their reflexes. You'll react faster than any human pilot, and if they train opposite you, when they end up in a situation where swift reflexes are an advantage, they'll have an edge. Or you could do flights for air shows, or for a fly-past for Fourth of July celebrations, or something. Or maybe they'll give you some ideas once the treaty's sorted," Miles said. "I'm sure your military alts will be an advantage."

"That's a relief," Thundercracker said. "I didn't want to have to consider a plane from another country in order to retain my weapons, or, worse, pose as a small civilian plane with no weapons. Anyway, this alt is my preferred one, changing it even to an equal plane elsewhere would have been a disappointment."

"Yes, it has pleasing lines in alt and gives us nice lines in robot form," Skywarp acknowledged.

Starscream had let himself down to lie on the floor, and let out another blissful sigh as Miles continued stroking the faceplates. Thundercracker glanced over, jealous, and then pleaded "Can I have some of that, Miles?"

"Yeah, sure," Miles said, giving Starscream a few more strokes before rushing over to bestow his touches on Thundercracker. Starscream looked back over at the blue Seeker resentfully, who stuck his glossa out in response before shuttering his optics in bliss as Miles began touching his faceplates.

"We should ask Dr Syn to clone you, so we can all be stroked at the same time," Skywarp, who had seen the whole exchange chuckled, only half-joking.

"Uh-huh, I'd rather you didn't, it'd cause all sorts of problems for me, and I mean however many of me we'd end up with. Not to say you couldn't have more humans to stroke you, if there was peace between us and you, that is, and you could even make money from it, sounds like a dream job to me!"

"Tell me more, I'm interested," Starscream said, sitting back up.

"Well, you like being stroked, right, and you know I like stroking you. I doubt I'd be the only human who'd like to help polish either an F-22, _or_ an alien robot. So, once you and our Government make peace, and you're considered non-hostile, or even friendly, you could set up a small business to "allow" people to touch you and stroke you," Miles said, using his fingers to indicate speech marks in the air as he said 'allow'. "Then you explain that you'll need to levy a small charge, say a couple of dollars, make it easily affordable, to cover polish, cloths and the cost of your fuel. Keep the charge low, and move around to a different area every week or so, and I _know_ people will pay!" Miles said.

"Will your Military mind?" Thundercracker asked before letting loose a shuddering sigh. "After all, I do believe the form we take is classified."

"I doubt you'll be allowing some unknown stranger prowling about your thrusters, and I _know_ you won't tolerate anyone trying to dismantle your computer guidance or control," Miles said.

"Certainly _not_!" Thundercracker said, sitting up so suddenly Miles had to grab hold suddenly or fall off. The Seeker immediately held a hand out for him to stand on. "Sorry," he said as Miles steadied himself.

"Proves my point," Miles said. "Anyway, how would any spy be able to work out which components are faux-human and which Cybertronian? Maybe each person could be checked, and anyone suspected of being a security risk turned away. Anyway, people will be curious, they'll want to gawp, so put them in a situation where they can gawp, or touch, maybe ask questions, not that you have to answer them if you don't want to, but that they pay you for the privilege. Charge a small enough fee, and you'll get plenty of takers."

"I guess so," Skywarp said "Though I don't really like the idea of being exhibited like that,"

"Not a whole lot different than being stared at for free as you wait to go up – or have finished and are waiting to move – at an air show," Miles said. "You could combine it with that, insist on an enclosure to go to after flying, title it "Meet the pilot" or something, maybe talk for free, charge for autographs if you could write small enough, maybe even allow some people, if they paid enough and were not a risk, to come up in your cockpits for a short flight. Hire a photographer to take pictures, have a counter where people can buy their pictures, buy key rings, mugs and T-shirts and tons of other stuff. Look up some of our tourist attractions, like the Golden Gate Bridge and the Grand Canyon to see what I mean.

He saw Thundercracker's and Starscream's optics dim and flare again as they accessed the Internet, and then Starscream said "Your idea is not without some merit, perhaps we can think about it and speak to your Government and Military about this. However, this is a future concern, because first we must make peace with your kind. Tell me, human, are you in a position to contact your countries' leaders and ask if they would consider a ceasefire, preliminary to discussions concerning possible peace talks?"

Miles said "Unfortunately, no, I'm just a skinny American teenager. I get the idea I'm not meant to actually _know_ about you guys, Sam never breathed a word to me about you, and usually he tells me everything, and I mean _everything_ , we're best buds, bros. Stands to reason he didn't tell me because he's under a gag order. I guess I could _try_ and write to the President, but his mail is opened and screened, so I don't think it would get to him. It might be taken either as a potential threat on your part, or a joke on my part."

"A threat? How?" Starscream asked. "How can an offer of peace talks be considered a threat?"

"Because they might think you'll want unreasonable terms, or are threatening to attack them more if they don't agree. You told me about the attacks you launched on them in Qatar and Mission City, they only know you as an aggressor. As far as they are concerned, you're a potential threat to this country, to be neutralised if encountered. If they found I had links with you, they'd probably brand me a traitor, and scare, force, or guilt-trip me to tell where you are. Sorry guys, I don't think I can help you."

As Miles watched the Seeker's faces reflect disappointment, an idea struck him, and it was so obvious, he almost laughed. Instead he said "Actually, maybe _I_ can't help, but I think I know someone who knows somebody, and you might know the same somebody, who might be able to help."


	12. Chapter 12

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Eleven.

Autobot Base.

"Sir, I have an incoming transmission from Starscream, no visual, just audio," Mirage, who was manning communications, said. "I think it's a recorded message. What do you want me to do, Sir?"

"Put it on speakers," Optimus said. He wondered if he should call Ratchet, in case the call was about Miles. Was he still healthy, or had one of the multitudes of misfortunes that could affect humans happened to the boy? He held off on calling the medic, he'd listen to what Starscream had to say and contact Ratchet then if he needed to.

The speaker crackled, a feedback whine was heard, and Mirage fiddled with some dials till it stopped. Then he played back the message.

"This is Starscream calling the Autobot Base. I respectfully request the presence of Optimus Prime, and two mechs of his choice, to discuss matters that will benefit us all," Starscream's voice said.

"And could you ask Sam to come too?" broke in a voice that after a few seconds they guessed was Miles. "I have things I wanna talk about, and he can confirm I'm OK, and not being coerced. Starscream got in some soda, and we can get in pizza, and talk."

"I will personally guarantee his safety, and yours, and those you bring as well, Optimus. We will await your reply. Starscream out. This is Starscream – " Mirage cut off the message as it began to repeat.

"I must admit to being curious about what they have to say. We will have to ask if Sam will wish to attend as requested, but I think Ratchet's negotiating skills may be useful as well. Call Cliffjumper to take over from you, find Ratchet and ask him to go to my office, and come yourself."

"Do you trust them Sir?" he asked. "They're called Decepticons for a reason."

"That is the reason, Mirage, why I shall be taking Ironhide as the second mech they say I can bring, and why I will want _you_ to sneak in with us, under cover of your disruptor."

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Sam was enjoying a rare drive on his own with 'Bee, as Mikaela was spending some time with her dad. The day was bright, with a slight nip to the air forewarning that the cold months were not so far off, and Sam was enjoying the opportunity to spend some time with 'Bee. He was just wondering if the alt-wash would be available, so he could help wash his yellow friend, when Bumblebee spoke to him.

"Optimus wants us to return to the Base, Sam. He says Starscream has requested a meeting, and that Miles spoke up requesting your presence."

"Miles is still okay?" Sam asked, recalling the discussion he'd had with Ratchet and Mikaela about Miles potentially getting sick from Spark radiation.

"Optimus said it was audio only, but Miles spoke on it, and didn't sound sick. He had the voice print confirmed by Ratchet, compared to some footage with him speaking on YouTube, so it _is_ Miles, and he said it was an opportunity to confirm he was well, and said they'd get food in, and that you could talk."

"Where would this meeting take place?" Sam asked.

Bumblebee paused to ask Optimus, Sam presumed, and then replied "Starscream has, it seems, asked that we all meet at his Base."

"The Decepticon Base?" Sam squeaked. "Would that be _safe_? I'm not exactly flavour of the month with the Decepticons, especially since Mission City, and don't think I'm likely to be liked by them anytime in the future!"

Once again there was a pause, and Bumblebee said "Optimus is allowed to take two other mechs with him, and he's taking Ratchet and Ironhide. He says that Starscream has personally guaranteed the safety of all participants, including you. To be safe, he's asked Mirage to sneak in too, just in case, and his first priority if you are threatened will be to get you to a safe place or position."

"Well, I guess that's reassuring, but I hope Starscream's genuine," Sam said.

"Optimus says there is another factor in your favour, Sam, and that is Miles being a friend of Starscream and his Seekers. As Miles is also _your_ friend, he is honour-bound to protect you, as you are here at his friend's request. I do not think you will have to worry about Starscream and his wing brothers. Barricade and the other mechs do, however, give cause for concern, hence Ironhide's guns and Mirage's presence."

"Well, I guess I should go," Sam said. "I must admit that I want to know what Starscream wants too. Add to that, I want to see Miles and catch up." He laughed. "I guess this means the gag order's kind of pointless where Miles is concerned." He patted the steering column.

"Well 'Bee, I guess I'd better ring my folks and let them know I'm staying over the Base. Let's go, the sooner we get there, the sooner we get to find out what's going on."

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo 

Barricade went up to the hangar, giving an over-loud com signal that he was there.

He wondered what was up, Starscream had bothered him a lot less since getting a pet squishy for washing purposes, and he had to admit to some curiosity in that area, he having encouraged Starscream to get himself one. He had to admit the change in the Seeker's usually acerbic personality was a welcome chance, he'd had more breaks and leeway in the last few weeks than he'd had in the previous two years. Add to that the Seeker had kept off his back and not interfered with what he was doing, and it was definitely a change for the better.

Starscream opened the door, invited him in, and suggested that he sit down with them, offering a freight container as a seat. Surprised, Barricade took it, for the crate brought his face closer up, almost level with their own, a tacit sign that they recognised he had status almost equal to themselves. As some Seekers, Thundercracker in particular, tended to look down on non-fliers, it was a welcome courtesy, and Barricade's opinion of the trine inched up a notch.

When they offered him energon, he knew they wanted something from him, but was happier to be offered a bribe rather than the customary threat the trine had been using since making planetfall. The change in tactics indicated that they were more confident in themselves, and also in him. He decided that if the Seekers were going to recognise that he had something to offer without being disdainful, he wasn't about to complain. He might even, if they could prove themselves, accept their leadership openly, instead of begrudgingly while looking for mistakes to exploit to his advantage.

He took the offered drinking cube, only then noticing the human boy sat on Starscream's leg drinking some fizzy human drink. The boy – for Barricade could tell that he was not yet fully adult – noticed his scrutiny, and stood, sticking out his hand.

"Hi there, I'm Miles," he said. "Pleased to meet you."

Barricade hesitated for a millisecond, accessed the Internet to check for manners and customs, then reached out and delicately took the boys hand between two claws hard enough to shake it. Barricade knew he could have pulverised the hand, followed by its owner, before anyone could react, but guessed that would be a very bad idea. In any case, he was curious about this. Why had Starscream called him in and been so polite? Why was the boy there? Was Starscream's respectful attitude anything to do with the boy? If so, he wasn't going to risk upsetting Starscream.

"Barricade," he said to the boy, and then because the boy had said it and it seemed polite, "Pleased to meet you." He turned to Starscream and asked "Well? What do you think? Being washed by a human has its benefits don't you think?"

"Indeed it does, Barricade, and more even than you can imagine," the Seeker said, and Barricade found himself scrutinising Miles more closely.

"He seems, on first appearances, to be nothing particularly special," Barricade said. "I take it that it is something he can do, or maybe that he can think of?"

"Yes, Barricade, he has more to him than his unassuming little frame give away, several things in fact, but the one I am concerned with is how well he can work things out. I believe I should let you know, as my ground forces commander, that I think that making peace with the humans would be a smarter idea than continuing to be considered their enemies."

Barricade's optics widened at the new title Starscream had just bestowed on him so casually. Ground forces commander was a big step up from frontliner and recon specialist. He digested the rest of Starscream's comment without surprise or argument, and nodded slightly. He himself had realised some time ago that they were currently in a stalemate situation. The humans were leaving them alone as long as the Decepticons kept their activities below the human's radar, but the moment they tried to step up their activities, the humans, with the help of their Autobot allies, would likely retaliate. Their numbers, although occasionally replenished with new arrivals from the stars, were too low to wage a sustained war, especially one Barricade suspected they would lose.

"Yes, I believe you are right," the new Commander said. "Would you like me to tell the rest of the ground forces about this?" He emptied his drinking cube and held it up. "Some of this excellent energon, I think, would go a long way towards gaining their agreement." He was pleasantly surprised when Thundercracker noticed his cube was empty and promptly reached over to refill it.

"Certainly I shall give you some energon for them," Starscream said. "It was liberated from Ratchet's store a few weeks ago. We are running low on it, but let them know that peace with humans will necessitate peace with the Autobots as well. As Ratchet is the Autobots brewmaster, perhaps peace with the Autobots gives us a chance to trade for the energon, or find out how he makes it so good."

"We'll have to trade with the humans as well," Barricade said. "For fuel and resources to make the energon at least. What do we have to offer? To offer our technology to such a warlike and paranoid species would be, I believe, a bad idea for us all."

"May I speak?" Miles piped up. Barricade looked at him in surprise while Starscream just nodded indulgently.

"Let Miles speak, Barricade, he's already come up with solutions for the Trine and for Dropkick," the Seeker encouraged.

"Well," Miles said, "with that alt, you could work for the Police, particularly in situations where your armour plating would protect you from standard bullets. And to encourage shooters to drop the guns?" Miles grinned. "Just transform and stand up. Or you could be undercover, looking like a plain old Police car – or concealing yourself – and using your super senses and your scanners to identify illegal substances or guns or endangered species being smuggled in."

"Your suggestions hold merit," Barricade said. "Perhaps if I tell you the alts of the other grounders, you could suggest something for them to do."

"Sure," Miles said. "that's fine by me."

Settling down, Barricade began to talk to Miles.


	13. Chapter 13

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Twelve.

 

Optimus, with Sam in his cab, rolled up to the entrance of the Decepticon Base, Ironhide and Ratchet behind him. When he had contacted Starscream to confirm they would go to the Base whenever he wanted, Starscream had explained he wanted to enter negotiations with the Autobots, suggested a time in the very near future, and sent them his Base's co-ordinates.

He and Ironhide had some large containers of energon in tow, as Starscream had requested. Optimus had planned to bring some to lubricate the negotiations anyway, but it wouldn't hurt to seem flexible, and open and agreeable to some of the Decepticons' requests in the process.

Sam looked out, ostensibly to see where they were, but really to look for Mirage, whom he'd last seen on Optimus' far side, but he couldn't see him, and guessed the blue and white spy had activated his disrupter.

Sam guessed that Optimus had commed their presence, either that or the Decepticons had some sort of camera trained on the gates, for Barricade came out and pushed aside the large chain link gate that had been patched with pieces of metal to make it opaque to prying eyes. The frontliner stepped aside with a mock-bow, and gave Sam a toothy grin as the three Autobots moved inside. He paused a moment before moving to swing the gate closed as Sam got out of Optimus' cab and backed off. Then Ratchet transformed, unhitched the energon containers, and then the other two Autobots also transformed into their bipedal forms.

 

Skywarp appeared to deal with the energon containers, and Barricade motioned the Autobots to follow him. Ironhide held out large but surprisingly delicate-looking hands for Sam to climb into, put him on a shoulder, and the 'bots followed Barricade around a corner.

Starscream himself was standing by the hangar doors, which had been opened, and he beckoned them all inside. He left the hangar doors open as it was a dry warm day outside, and led them to the middle, where eight freight crates were set up in two gentle curves around another crate in the middle. Thundercracker sat on one crate, and the crate in the middle held two comfy human chairs, one of which Miles was sat upon.

"Please, all, sit down," Starscream said. Optimus took Sam off Ironhide's shoulder and put him down on the crate with Miles, and sat himself on a crate he hoped would place him opposite the Decepticon leader. Ratchet and Ironhide took crates either side of him.

Starscream did sit on the crate opposite Optimus and next to Thundercracker, and Barricade took the crate to Starscream's other side. This left two crates either side, and Sam thought they were there to provide a buffer of space between the two sides, till Starscream said "That includes you, too, Mirage, I _know_ you're here, _without_ having to check Dr Syn's spark-register."

There was a pause, during which everyone's optics were on Optimus, who nodded slightly and said "Please join us Mirage." The air behind Optimus shimmered, and a slightly embarrassed looking Mirage stood there. Starscream indicated a crate next to Ironhide, and Mirage took it. At that moment Skywarp came in, pushing in a canister of energon and bearing drinking cubes.

"How did you know I was there?" Mirage asked, as Skywarp poured him a cube and handed it to him. The blue and white spy took the cube gratefully and sipped it: his disrupter took a lot of energy to maintain.

"Well, I didn't for sure," Starscream said "but I know if _I_ had a mech with your abilities, Mirage, and our situations were reversed, I'd ask him to sneak in with us. If Optimus hadn't admitted you were there, I would have asked Dr Syn to use his Spark detector and tell me if there was one more than expected. You can bend light around you with your disrupter, but you can't conceal your Spark from our scanner."

Skywarp finished handing out drinking cubes, than took a seat almost primly on the empty crate opposite Mirage. Barricade said "If you two humans want a pizza, let me know and I'll go now. If you want one later, we can stop the negotiations and I'll go then."

Sam and Miles had a quick, whispered discussion, and then Miles said "Can we have a super-size pizza now, with double everything on it, except anchovies, we don't like them. And two big bottles of soda, we don't mind what flavour. Could you also get some paper or plastic cups to drink it from?"

"Right, I'll go fetch it. While I'm gone, you two humans can catch up, we can negotiate when I get back, I am representing the interests of the ground forces," Barricade said. He eyed Sam and said "Don't think this makes us friends, I'm being polite because Miles is yours and Starscream's friend. Unless we get to know each other better, and end up somehow liking each other, I'll tolerate you, but no more."

As Barricade turned to exit the hangar, Sam whispered to Miles "The feeling's mutual."

While Barricade was gone, the humans _did_ catch up with what they had each been doing, Sam expressing alarm at the tale of Miles' sickness. Miles assured Sam he was okay, and explained how the Seekers had modulated their Spark force-fields to shield him from their Sparks’ ionising radiation. Sam wondered, but not out loud, if he could ask Bumblebee to do the same for him, for his peace of mind as much as anything else.

Barricade returned with the requested food and drink, and while Sam and Miles munched on the pizza, he helped himself to some more energon.

"So, Starscream, you spoke of negotiations," Optimus said. "May I ask exactly what we will be negotiating about, and why you have chosen _now_ to negotiate?"

"We wish to speak about the possibility of peace talks, not only with you, but with the humans," Starscream explained. "After some interesting discussions with my friend Miles, I thought it would be a good idea, and after consulting with Ground Force Commander Barricade and my wing brothers, I found they also felt it would be a good move, for various reasons."

Optimus looked at Barricade when he heard Starscream mention his title, and thought he saw Barricade sit up straighter and swell with pride, his armour expanding slightly.

"So, I assume you will be dealing with the humans at a later date, as there are none here save Sam and Miles, who have no power within their governing body," Optimus said.

"That's one of the reasons we contacted you first," Starscream admitted. "As the humans regard us as a threat to be destroyed on sight, we hoped you could take our request for peace talks to the humans for us."

"Actually, wouldn't it be a good idea to bring Major Lennox and Sgt Epps in here to hear?" Sam suggested. "Their bosses know that they communicate with the Autobots, perhaps if both Optimus _and_ they bring back a report of talks about peace talks between you and the Autobots, with an offer to include them, it might carry a bit more weight. Lennox has an effective bullshit detector, he's shown that often enough. I think his ability to see through rhetoric and posturing will be advantageous, he can report that he thinks the offer is genuine, as long as it is."

"Do you think my offer is some sort of trick, human?" Starscream asked shrilly, his optics rapidly expanding and contracting and his armour beginning to expand from his body in his anger.

"No, I don't think that," Sam said, rushing to calm the Seeker. "But Lennox's superiors might doubt your sincerity, and if Major Lennox, Seargeant Epps, _and_ Optimus Prime can tell them your offer's genuine, they'll trust _their_  word that they can trust _you_."

"It's amazing that your species have learned to co-operate at all with such a high level of paranoia," Starscream replied sulkily, but he settled down. "Okay, who can find them and bring them in?"

"I'll do that," volunteered Ironhide. "It may take some time, so don't expect me back for a few days." The big Weapons Specialist was hoping Lennox would be at the farm so he would have a chance to see Annabelle again. He'd not seen her for a while and missed her animated if unintelligible babble.

"Okay, perhaps we can adjourn these talks for now, how about you all return to your Base until the two humans have been located?" Starscream suggested. "Of course, if you want to stay over, you are welcome, but I assume you all have duties at your own Base that you need to take care of?"

"Yes, you are correct," Optimus said. "We will return as suggested once Ironhide has found Lennox and Epps, and had a chance to debrief them. However, may I ask if Miles Lancaster will be returning with us?"

"No, not yet, Miles will be remaining with us, but could you assure his loved ones that he is safe and well? If your Ratchet wants to scan him to check, he may. We did make one error, but luckily it was not something that had a lasting effect." He stopped as if he'd finished speaking but then spoke again.

"Mirage is included in the return offer, I think his input makes him valuable. Plus, if there are four mechs on each side plus four humans in the middle, it's a nice balance." He paused. "That reminds me. Barricade, can you take some of that energon down and explain to your grounders what's in it for them if we make peace? And can you ask Payload to get two more chairs? In fact, ask him to make it four? We may as well have spares around."

Barricade nodded at Starscream and beckoned the Autobots, accompanying them to the gates and letting them out once Ratchet took up Starscream's offer and scanned Miles.

Once they had gone, Barricade went back to Starscream and said "Well, that went quite well. I shall take the energon down to the rest of the grounder mechs, and talk to them about the benefits of peace." He also thought, but did not _say_ , that if it kept Starscream this agreeable, generous, and good-tempered, he was all for it. "There will be a few issues we will have to make clear and agree about if this is to work, but I'm sure if we explain succinctly, we and the humans can come to some sort of agreement," he said.

"Indeed, and I think that Miles may be able to help with that too," the Seeker said.

"I can?" Miles said. "Uhm yeah, I can," he said as he remembered Starscream had asked for his views and input.

"Miles can help us by telling us what sort of things we can ask the humans, how to present issues we will not move on in an acceptable fashion, and how to try and portray our needs in a manner that humans may understand, and perhaps even empathise with," Starscream said.

"I wonder if some sort of presentation would help?" Miles asked. "After all, you and the Autobots represent the last of your race. I'm sure something could be drawn up in a few days. Perhaps if humans knew a bit more about your conflict, how and why it started, although you'd need to make it balanced, to avoid accusations of bias."

"We could ask an Autobot to come, we could discuss how each side has seen it, and work something out agreeable to both sides," Thundercracker suggested. "Perhaps too inform the humans about how Seekers were once persecuted as well."

"I believe the Autobots have a hologram specialist known as Hound," Starscream said. "Thundercracker, would you contact the Autobot Base on my behalf and ask for Hound's assist, and explain why?"

"Certainly," Thundercracker said, rising to move to the communications array in the main building.

"I shall take this energon now and explain what is happening," Barricade said, moving outside the hangar and hooking himself up to the energon canister left on a trailer in the courtyard.

"Do you think the negotiations so far are going well?" Starscream asked Miles.

"I think so," Miles said, finishing the sentence with a loud yawn that had Starscream looking over at him with alarm.

"Have you overstretched yourself? Have I overstressed you? You are still recovering after all. Do you need to rest?" the Seeker asked in concern.

"No, no, not at all, I'll be fine, although I wouldn't mind a rest," the human admitted with another yawn.

"Here, you go and rest," Starscream said, taking Miles over to his area. "When you wake, have something to eat, and then join us, we'll be relaxing for the rest of the night. I'd ask you to join us while you sleep, but I'd be scared of crushing you. You could come in a cockpit, but in robot form it might not be in a comfortable or a safe orientation."

"Maybe I'll try that when I'm less tired," Miles said as he headed for his bed, "but right now I need to sleep."

Starscream watched until Miles had crawled under the covers, and then went to help Skywarp put aside the crates.


	14. Chapter 14

**Notes for the Chapter:**

> Thanks to Anonybot (FanfictionDOTnet) for ideas mentioned in this chapter.

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Thirteen.

 

When Sam, Optimus, Ratchet, and Mirage got back to the Autobot Base, Optimus called Bumblebee, the Twins, and the Arcee Triplets in to tell them what had been going on. Sam, who had stayed with the Autobot Leader so he could hook up with Bumblebee again, took this as an opportunity to ask a question he'd come up with.

"When I spoke to Sideswipe about him being a twin, he said that twinning was really rare, Sparks can split into two but not any further. But you referred to an Arcee Triplet. Are they a rare exception, and do they only have one name because they're like the same person in three bodies, or is there another reason?"

Optimus gave a low chuckle and said "No, Sam, Arcee and her companions are not true triplets in the sense humans understand. Her compatriots are not strictly related at all. A triplet is the grounder equivalent of a trine. Grounder threes were also once known as trines, until it led to confusion between the ground forces and air forces of Cybertron. The term 'triplet' was coined so the air and ground forces all knew which was being talked about. As Arcee is the group's commanding officer, they are known as the Arcee triplet, although her companions do have names. When several triplets existed, it served to differentiate them." He sighed. "When the other three arrive, which Arcee says they will, we should have the Elita triplet as well."

As Bumblebee walked in, Cliffjumper, who was now manning communications as Mirage was resting, said "Prime? We got a communication from Starscream requesting Hound's presence with a mind to creating a balanced presentation for humans."

Optimus nodded, only a slight widening of his optics reflecting his surprise at the request. "Please advise Hound of Starscream's request, and ask him his opinion, then instruct him to report to me in one hour," he said. As Bumblebee crouched to pick Sam up, Optimus addressed him.

"Sam, would you say that Miles is easily deceived?" he asked.

"Well, yes and no," Sam said. "I know that sounds contradictory, but Miles is a member of a UFO spotters' group, and an avid reader of some of these conspiracy websites, On the other hand, he's investigated some of those theories, and discarded them based on what his investigation turns up," Sam said. "There are those he's not believed from the start, or others that stand up to scrutiny initially, but that make no sense if you look deeper. Miles is willing to believe if you offer him reason to, but his bullshit detector's pretty sharp. It had to be with the ribbing and BS he got in recess. He's interested in these websites because he doesn't take everything he's told at face value. So, yes, he might _seem_ gullible for believing in something other than what is the accepted belief, but that's because he wants to check up on everything."

Optimus nodded. "So if your Miles doubted or queried anything that Starscream told him, he'd say so?"

"Yes, he would, and I doubt he'd worry about propriety, or time and place," Sam said.

"Did Miles seem his usual self when you met him and talked to him?" Optimus asked. "I know it was limited, but did anything seem wrong with him?"

"If you mean was he brainwashed or being controlled, then if so, it was a good job. He was just Miles, his usual self, he didn't act like he was being coerced, didn't seem strained or restrained or off in any way."

"Then we must proceed and invest a certain amount of trust in the Decepticons, although we will not take foolish chances. If the Decepticons are indeed ready to talk about peace, and if there is a chance that they will follow though their words with appropriate actions, it would be foolish to jeopardise it with old paranoia and distrust."

The door opened to admit the Arcee triplets, each individual giving Sam a nod as they passed. Bumblebee took Optimus' nod as a dismissal, and exited with Sam sat safely in his hands.

oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo oOo 

 

"Well, at least we have got negotiations started," Starscream said to Miles, after they had discussed some possibilities. "However, I can foresee some potential problems with certain issues, for example, partnering with humans could be a problem."

"How so?" Miles asked.

"What if a human takes advantage of the situation? We don't want to be treated like slaves, or lower forms of life, or spoken to as if we were. Some of us, if this occurred, may react in a way that would not be considered very friendly. Also, we are aware that some humans eat or drink inside their vehicles, and we would not appreciate crumbs or spillages in our interiors."

"Well, any of you with military alts shouldn't really have to worry about the second issue, and maybe if taking orders from humans would be an issue, well, the doctor mentioned holoforms, maybe you could use them instead of human partners if need be," Miles said.

"It's not so much the taking orders, after all, we are used to a hierarchy within our own forces, I think the issue may be with _humans_ giving the orders, particularly if the orders go against the mech's own wishes or feelings," Starscream said.

"Like what?" Miles asked.

"Like if someone tries to hijack Payload to steal what he carries, and his human partner orders him not to kill," Starscream explained. "Payload may well feel that as the attack was an actual assault on his person, he is, as Decepticon custom permits, entitled to punish him as he sees fit, up to and including killing the human in question."

"Oh, I see the problem," Miles said. "Is it possible that as their commanding officer, you could tell them not to kill humans?"

"Well, technically it's Barricade who is their immediate superior, although I am their overall leader, but I believe Barricade is well aware of the pros, and of course the cons, of dealing with humans, after all he has chosen to pose as a civil defence vehicle. I think maybe he can pass on the message, and perhaps advise his mechs of some do's and don'ts. Maybe he could take advice from you, or debate with you if he prefers, suggested courses of action, or identify mechs who may not be able to resist what might be considered an over-aggressive approach. After all, if we are to live openly and at peace with you, we must comply with your laws."

"Maybe the mechs can also discuss this with potential human partners, perhaps both sides could lay down some basic ground rules,” Miles said. "Perhaps draw up between them some sort of agreement or guidelines for them both, like a personal treaty between mech and human partner. Or maybe a mixture of all these possibilities. There may be some who will be happier without a human partner, I guess, who can, if I recall correctly, project a hologram of a human."

"Where did you learn about that?" Starscream asked, trying to remember if the holoform-creating ability had been demonstrated to Miles by himself or one of the other Seekers.

"Well, Dr Syn told me about them, and showed how he could use tractor and pressor beams to manipulate things and even create the illusion of touch, even said you were going to work on a sort of human-shaped force-field for him to use if he needs to treat humans," Miles explained.

"Something I'll have to work on more immediately I suppose, if this idea is taken up by my other mechs," Starscream said grumpily, hiding the pleasure he felt at how cleverly Miles had, unintentionally, reminded him of an offer Starscream had, until then, forgotten he'd made. "I believe, Miles, and correct me if I'm wrong, though I know I'm not, that in this country, the health and medical services, including diagnosis and treatment, are quite in demand, and very profitable. We have two medics in our Decepticon army who have currently made planetfall, and if they can learn to scan, diagnose, and treat humans in, say, a mobile clinic, we could make some sort of money that way, too."

"We may not even need to make peace with the humans officially to do that," Skywarp said.

"Thing is, if you do make lots of money, you will be scrutinised by Government agencies," Miles said "if only for tax purposes. And if they find out that you are the same group who carried out attacks against the American Government, and you _haven't_ made a truce with them, they might take it very much amiss, and not only attack you, but freeze your back accounts and seize the money." Miles shrugged. "Sorry, but what would _you_ do if you governed, and somebody who had shown that they considered you no friend suddenly began operating in the area where you had jurisdiction?"

"Add to that that the Autobots might object, either just to be bloody-minded, or because they'll just _assume_ that we are doing something nefarious," Thundercracker interjected, "and as we have _already_ proposed peace to both sides, that, Skywarp, is not really a viable alternative. If we are _not_ going to conquer and enslave this world, and I see little profit in doing so, we are going to have to work with the humans, and with the Autobots, seeing as the humans are the dominant species on this world and the Autobots made an alliance with them against us."

"Hang on, what do you mean 'conquer and enslave' Miles said nervously, looking up at Starscream pleadingly. "I thought we were friends!"

"We thought about that when we first came to your planet," Starscream said in a soothing tone of voice "and long before we two met." He paused to throw a 'you-and-your-big-vocal-processor' glare at Thundercracker before continuing. "As it is, your species has far too much potential, and the planet's resources are too depleted, for that to be an efficient or worthwhile plan of action," Starscream assured him. "Your planet's potential lies now in your species, and I personally think that it would be more profitable to work _with_ your species than to take them over and steal this world's resources." He paused, in case Miles wanted to pass comment, but the human nodded at the Seeker to continue, so Starscream did so,

"Our two species are very alike, and yours are very inventive, refusing to give up even if the odds seem against you," Starscream continued. "Such spirit and inventiveness would, I feel, be wasted if we were to try and subjugate your world and its people, and I abhor waste. It may even be that many of your kind would begin and continue rebellion, even in the face of our victory and with the threat of extermination," Starscream said. "I think many humans, particularly from what you call 'the free world' would not just submit meekly to our rule. Many events in the history of your world reflect your kind's rebellious heart and free spirit."

"Too right," murmured Miles, thinking of himself, and of his British friends online, one who had told him of a British song called 'Rule Britannia' that had stated that 'Britons never, never, never, shall be slaves.' He had a feeling that his European friends also felt the same. As Starscream began speaking again, Miles looked up to listen to the Seeker.

"No, I think your world's wealth is in its people, both in their needs and wants, and their quick and clever minds," Starscream said, "and perhaps by working together, _both_ our species can grow and expand." He looked down at Miles, and said "From what I can see, your people have two main needs and desires, and they are energy production, and space exploration."

"Yeah, I guess, although eliminating world poverty and trying for world peace come pretty high on a lot of people's agendas," Miles said. Starscream took a millisecond to look up the two issues Miles had highlighted, and then replied.

"Well, perhaps we could aid with food production as well as energy creation, and space exploration," Starscream told him. He stopped and looked at Miles.

"Many of our mechs, and many of those of the Autobots, too, will have scanned the planets and systems they passed on their way here," Starscream explained. "Some of us may have landed on worlds that had fuel or other resources, to refine it, or obtain it as we may have found a need for it," he explained.

"Tell me, Miles, would your country's leaders and their space exploration scientists and theorists, be interested in learning what worlds near them, relatively speaking, have resources your species, your country, could use?" Starscream asked. "Would they like to know what potentially habitable worlds we found on our way here, or what worlds could be used to produce crops, or rear food animals, and would they be interested if we promised to help them to get there?" The Seeker paused, for dramatic effect, before continuing.

"Miles, would your United States of America appreciate our aid to help your country, and eventually your species, to reach the stars?"


	15. Chapter 15

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Fourteen.

 

The Autobots, this time accompanied by Lennox, Epps, and a General named Morshower, returned to the Decepticon Base, and were greeted by Barricade, who took them to the Seeker's hangar, where seating for both Cybertronians and humans had once again been set up. The seating was in a semicircle rather than a circle, and the human seating was halfway round, Miles waving from one of four chairs that had been set up for them.

Once Barricade had located and provided a fifth chair, (for the General, after visiting the Autobot base to hear about the proposed peace, had surprised Lennox and Epps by deciding to accompany them at the last minute,) Sam, Lennox, Morshower and Epps were gently placed by the Autobots on the area. As the 'bots seated themselves, the three Seekers and Barricade formally introduced themselves to the three adult humans. Lennox and Epps, who had fought against Barricade and Starscream, exchanged jaundiced looks but replied politely enough in the name of diplomacy, while Morshower formally introduced himself to the four in the same manner they used to address him.

Once they were all seated, Barricade asked if pizza would be acceptable again, and after receiving the okay (and topping and crust type requests) from all five humans, sent Dropkick out to get them. Morshower didn't waste any time while waiting; he cleared his throat to get everybody's attention, stood, and said "Decepticon Leader Starscream, I am informed that you wish to discuss the possibility of peace between humans and Decepticons. Could you please expand on this for me?"

"Why certainly, General, I believe that is why we are here," Starscream said, inclining his head and body respectfully towards Morshower. "However, I believe it will be to your advantage, and to ours, for you to know a little more of our history, and the history of the conflict we and the Autobots have been engaged in since before your species has existed." He paused. "I'm sure it has been explained to you that we are a very long-lived race," he continued "and old hatreds are partially relevant to this, for it is both the Autobots and you humans we wish to negotiate with, and you and they are allies. Therefore, I believe we should wait until you have seen the presentation we have worked with the Autobot Hound to create. It is better when negotiating to understand the history behind any conflict, I am sure you would agree?"

"Of course," Morshower said, slightly annoyed to have been outmanoeuvred by the Seeker, but impressed too, despite himself. He sat back down, ignoring the amused looks Lennox and Epps exchanged. He had to admit that Lennox _had_ tried to warn him about the sense of humour of some of the Cybertronians, but he could have sworn he had also heard Starscream described by one of the 'bots as 'impatient'. So far, Morshower had seen no sign of this. On the other hand, he'd only been there half an hour. So, he thought to himself with a supressed chuckle, who was being impatient now?

When Dropkick returned, he had brought not only the pizzas, but two of each side order, several bottles of soda, and some water. Barricade managed to ferret out some cups small enough for humans to use, passing them out to the five. He made sure the humans were comfortable and then took his assigned place in the semicircle. Then Starscream nodded to Hound, who was stood behind them, fidgeting nervously.

As the humans took pizza and drinks, Hound started his holographic presentation. Optimus had to admit as he watched that the presentation was fair, explaining both sides of the arguments and the unfair political and social structure at the time, and the reason violence had broken out at all. It also acknowledged that the Decepticon cause had later changed, under Megatron, from fairness and equality for the Decepticons to the conquest of other worlds, destruction of non-Cybertronian - considered inferior - races, and complete destruction of the Autobots.

Included in the presentation (and a welcome break, judging by the looks on the faces of the three adult humans) was an introduction to the AllSpark; what little was known about it, the myths and stories surrounding it, and the scientific and religious explanations about it, all of which were of interest to all of the humans.

The ancient tyranny of the Quintessons, and the Cybertronian races' resistance to them, was briefly but otherwise fully explained, and given as one reason why the Decepticon faction rose up against the Senators, all Autobots. It was explained how Megatron was given the position of Lord High Protector, a prestigious position, it was true, but with little power or influence. It explained how Megatron had quickly realised this, and had quietly organised his forces, planning to deliver a quick and unexpected punitive strike on Autobot Tower, the Senator's seat of power in the capital city of Iacon.

Before this, however, it appeared that Megatron had designed and built into himself an artificial interface device which he planned to use to enable him to directly communicate with the AllSpark. Certain Cybertronians – known as Sensitives – were Sparked with the ability to communicate with the AllSpark naturally, while the others were not, Megatron amongst them.

Nobody was quite sure what happened when every Sensitive on Cybertron – and more than a few off-planet – heard the AllSpark scream, but upon investigation Megatron was discovered inside the Great Dome, very different looking, but disorientated and aggressive, pushing past the Guardians there without explanation. An investigation was scheduled, where Megatron would be requested to come and explain his actions, but two days later he launched his planned attack, his forces mercilessly killing every Autobot mech, femme, and youngling they came across, on Megatron's own orders, it seemed.

With hindsight, it was thought that Megatron had tried – and succeeded - to interface with the AllSpark with the inbuilt device, hence the new form he was found in, but that the scream was the AllSpark's response to a still unknown request or demand Megatron made of the AllSpark. Some theorised that the AllSpark had sent a blast of energy up Megatron's sensors to forcibly break the interface, and some thought it may have scrambled his processors. Most agreed, however, both Autobot and Decepticon, that it was after this point that Megatron's focus seemed to turn from justice and equality to conquering and destroying.

With a sign to Hound to stop the presentation, Optimus stood, and could see that not only he and the other Autobots, but the Decepticons, had learned some things they had not known from the presentation. The pooling of Autobot and Decepticon knowledge had achieved that, if nothing else.

"I must speak to all assembled to explain that at the time of the conflict, little of some of the things spoken of here was known by any below the highest Senators,” he said. “I did not know about the injustice done to our Decepticon brothers at this time. I do, however, pledge on my honour as a Prime and on the energy of my own Spark, that should peace be achieved, the quest for equality and fairness that first began the Decepticon cause will be addressed. Should we achieve peace, I shall insist that Autobots and Decepticons be governed by, and bound by, the same laws, and are permitted the same opportunities."

As he sat, Starscream, obviously a little shaken himself, stood and also addressed the assembled humans and Cybertronians.

"Even I did not know everything we have so far been shown, and there may yet be other things I have yet to see in the rest of the presentation that I may not know of. Based on what I have seen, and what Optimus Prime has just stated, however, the equality he speaks of will certainly be a _major_ part of our demands – sorry, _requests_ – that we will not back down over." He seemed to run out of things to say, and sat down, at which point Morshower himself stood.

"Gentlemen and – um, gentlebeings," he started, a bit thrown at first about how to address the crowd. He cleared his throat and tried not to be intimidated by the gaze of eight pairs of optics (four red, four blue) and the four pairs of human eyes focused on him.

"I am as startled by some of the revelations we have all seen as much as some of you Cybertronians, but I must admit to not really being _surprised_ ," he said. He raised his hands hurriedly as Ironhide and Starscream both began to show signs of anger at the unintentional suggested slight.

"Please let me finish," he continued hurriedly. "No insult was intended and I apologise if I have appeared to impugn the honour of your species," he continued, "but I say I am not surprised not because I make assumptions about Cybertronians, but because I have seen similar such machinations and power plays and injustice, and worse, in my _own_ race, humanity. I am told you can connect to the Internet, and I suggest you look to events that occurred during this world's Second World War. Although it contains individual stories of great daring, bravery, and heroism, it contains many injustices, such as the Jewish Holocaust, and the almost total annihilation of the Romany Gypsies, and certain countries treatment of their prisoners of war. More recently, the ethnic cleansing in Africa and Eastern Europe, that are sometimes collectively referred to as 'Man's inhumanity to man.'"

The room was almost silent, and Morshower took the chance to continue his speech.

"Humanity is hardly a pure race when it comes to justice, even America has, and quite recently, abrogated the basic rights that all humans should have regardless of location, creed, colour, or political inclination. Even Sam and Bumblebee, who are as loyal and friendly as we could wish, were taken prisoner by Sector Seven, and Bumblebee was restrained and studied, because of our fears, some might say paranoia, about intelligences from outside our own world." He took a breath and then continued. Ironhide and Starscream, he noticed, seemed mollified, and he could only hope that nothing else he had to say would unintentionally offend any of the Cybertronians

"America is proud to call itself the land of the free, the Statue of Liberty, at her feet, contains a passage of writing that invites those who have been outcast, amongst others, to come to our shores, and I still believe in justice and freedom for all those who come here as refugees, who come here because they are persecuted wrongly, and have no-where else to go," he said. "Our country, the United States, has long prided itself upon taking in those rejected by others and taking them in, and making them our own." He paused again, the atmosphere replete with tension, as he now looked back at each pair of optics, hoping the sincerity he wanted them to realise he felt showed in his own eyes.

"As one of those charged with protecting our country to keep those within our borders free, may I make an offer to what I hope may soon become our Decepticon allies, our Decepticon brothers, that I am totally committed to helping them. If they make peace with us and the Autobots, I promise to help them. Where possible and when needed, they should be able to live an appropriate version, for them, of the American dream, to be given the same rights accorded to their Autobot relations, and, where applicable, the same rights accorded to foreign visitors and diplomats."

He paused, then spoke before anybody else could interrupt, although the Autobots and Decepticons were, to a mech, seemingly enthralled by what he was saying.

"For I believe that Optimus and Starscream should have the same rights" – and here he nodded to the named leaders in turn, - "we generally afford to any democratic foreign rulers visiting our shores, and I shall, under conditions of ceasefire and peace between us, campaign, pester and bully if need be, those I have influence with into giving you these rights, as I believe are your due." He paused, as the tension he had felt drained out of him. Now he had said what he felt, and what he believed, and what he intended, and he hoped his sincerity had been reflected in his voice, in the vocal tone, and that this was obvious to the Cybetronians, Autobot and Decepticon alike, during the delivery of his speech.

"Now, I believe we have the rest of the presentation to view?" he asked as he sat back down and took a swig of water to wet his throat.

That was all he had time for before, as he might have later termed it, all Hell broke loose in the room.


	16. Chapter 16

Less Dirt, More Blushes.

Chapter Fifteen.

Starscream jumped up from his seat to look first at Optimus and then at Morshower, as Barricade followed suit.

"Do you mean that, really _mean_ that?" Starscream asked, looking first at Optimus, then swivelling around to look anxiously at Morshower, pinning him with a nervous, hopeful ruby gaze. "And you? Do you mean all your noble words?"

As Optimus nodded, Morshower emphasised his earlier words, reassuring the Seeker and looking directly at him to show the sincerity of his words.

"Yes, I meant what I said. I only have so much influence, but if our three sides can stop fighting, I will use the influence I have to work towards what I have promised. However, you will need to show willing too, but I have some ideas about that as well. You will probably have to meet some bullish and bombastic military types, and many boring and sometimes insincere politicians, but I can give you some advice and pointers there, too."

The look on Starscream's face suggested that if he could have rolled his optics, he would have.

"Why is it that politicians of all kinds, even those from different worlds, all seem to be the same?" he said in pained complaint. "You'd think they might have more honour."

"We always said politicians are the same the world over, 'Kaela and I'" Sam said. "From what you've said, make that 'the universe over' and we've all got it right."

"What could you offer us to assure us of your willingness?" asked Morshower. "For as distasteful as it is, we have to admit that most diplomacy is a form of trading, where each side bargains what they can offer for what they most want."

"Yes, it is, isn't it?" Starscream said thoughtfully. "What is it that you want, and what you will give us for it, and vice versa." He paused. "I was talking with Miles about this earlier, and perhaps I can make this an opening offer; if you make peace with us, we can all worry less about being shot at, a benefit all sides will, I am sure, appreciate. However, the Decepticons would like to have some of the advantages the Autobots get, such as fuel and refined metals and minerals. I understand that your world itself is short of many of these materials, and we Cybertronians have got further in space travel than you humans. If we could help you get to and mine the asteroids and nearby stars, and perhaps help you explore planets that may sustain human colonies, would we be up for a cut of the refined product of such mines? And would humans be happy to do the bulk of the mining, for on Cybertron, many Decepticons were forced to do the bulk of mining, and many of us never want to see the inside of a mine again." The convulsive little full-body shudder Starscream made told Morshower that Starscream was speaking from personal experience. Miles suddenly realised that this might have something to do with Starscream’s aversion to caves.

"There are many miners on our world, many young enough and adventurous enough to train up in space mining techniques," Morshower told the Seeker, trying to hide how appealing Starscream's offer was. Humans had long looked at the stars and dreamed of reaching them. Unmanned probes had reached the edge of the solar system, and a manned voyage to Mars was on the cards at some stage, but the furthest manned missions had reached so far was the Moon. "Space travel takes intensive preparation and millions of dollars. Would you be able to help make it cheaper and more efficient?"

Optimus Prime stood, his baritone voice carrying across he hangar as he spoke.

"General, if I may interrupt? The reason we Autobots have not offered something similar is because your species is much like ours: warlike. Our greatest concern would be your species using technology given for peaceful progress being used as a weapon, as most forms of energy production can be used for either purpose." Optimus turned to the Seeker. "I think before we offer the humans energy sources, we should talk, as a race, and not just as factions, about the wisdom of giving humans a technology that could be utilised to annihilate greater numbers of their own kind more efficiently than they currently can. We should also be careful about this technology altering the balance of power on this planet."

"Of course," Starscream said, sounding surprised. "However, I have noticed that much human technology is not as efficient with energy as it could be, nor are the methods of production as efficient as they could be. If we could help humans burn their fuel more completely, increasing energy yield while eliminating pollution, we believe that may help. We could also teach them to utilise chemical reaction energy more, and more effectively, for power, such as using hydrogen and oxygen to create water, and harvesting the energy released in the process. By improving technology they possess, or showing them new ways to use it, we would not _need_ to give them new technology." He paused. "We could simply show them how to fully utilise what they have, and using that which they have to get more of what they need, so they can not only live well, but grow, in numbers, and as a species."

"Um, excuse me, but we are still here, you know," Sam said. "How about talking to us technologically inferior humans here, instead of just about us?"

"Well, yes, but I just needed to explain to your Prime that we weren't about to give your species a new way to destroy your own kind," Starscream said.

"Which turned into a discussion about our shortcomings in front of us," Sam pointed out. "You wouldn't like it if the General and I started discussing what we saw as your shortcomings as if you weren't here, would you?"

"Well, no," Starscream said, as Lennox put a hand on Sam's shoulder and whispered something about 'drop it, Sam' in his ear. Sam gave Lennox a baleful look but subsided.

"So, you're not so much offering space travel as cleaner and more efficient fuel," Morshower continued.

"Well, just because we won't give you our technology doesn't mean we wouldn't convey humans to and from certain places ourselves," Starscream said. "After all, both our species are still short of materials made by refining raw materials in short supply on your Earth, but plentiful elsewhere. Literature and comments humans have posted in various sites on your World Wide Web suggests there is no shortage of pioneer types who may like to settle and colonise new worlds, which may go some way to solving both your population pressure, and what I believe would be termed 'turf wars' between your various nations."

"Pretty big spreads of turf," muttered Sam, as Morshower threw him a look and then said "Yes, I believe all your suggestions hold merit, and you are right. America's founders were all pioneers, so there should be no shortage of pioneer spirit for future colonists. It won't solve all our problems, many people won't want to move, but for those who do, it'll be an opportunity."

"Well, I think maybe we've all got somewhere," Miles said.

"Indeed," Starscream said, as both Optimus and Morshower nodded at exactly the same time in agreement, the unconscious synchrony making Sam stifle a laugh.

"I will have to report back to my superiors about this, and will ask for, in the spirit of these talks, a ceasefire for the duration. If the two of you will also agree to a ceasefire, effective immediately, I believe the chances of such a ceasefire, considering the integrity of the two faction leaders, to be high. It may be possible, if we get beyond ceasefire, to extend diplomatic privileges to you both, but I'm afraid it does mean your two sides will also have to come to some agreement." Morshower blinked, as if surprised himself at his long speech, as Starscream visibly preened at Morshower's compliments, and even Optimus puffed out his armour a little in pride. Miles had to quietly admit to himself that Morshower was quite a negotiator.

"You requested equality from us, Decepticon Leader Starscream, and that we are willing to give," Optimus said. "Conditional, of course, on an immediate ceasefire, which we shall also honour, we will forward fuel and parts to your Base, and extend our hospitality to those mechs of yours who will swear a solemn vow not to abuse the hospitality, a vow I will insist my mechs also take." Miles had noticed Starscream's annoyance at the mention of the hospitality vow, but also noticed it disappeared as soon as Optimus mentioned his own mechs would be required to do likewise.

"What about the humans?" Starscream said. "You said nothing about _them_ honouring an immediate ceasefire." Optimus looked about to speak, but as Morshower stood, he nodded to the General and allowed him to speak first. Morshower nodded at the courtesy, and stood.

"We do not enjoy the instantaneous communications you do, Starscream, and there will be much debate, but I will make it clear to those above me that we, too, must agree to a ceasefire within a certain timescale, to make it binding. I will also communicate your desire for equality, and in that spirit, request an eMail account, or a representative we can contact, in order to let you know an estimated time to decide, and of our actual decision."

Miles himself had not thought of that, assuming Optimus or Ratchet might convey the government's decisions to the Decepticons, and it seemed the Decepticons accepted the courtesy as Thundercracker volunteered himself and gave Morshower the number of a cell SIM that he had altered to divert to his own comm system.

"May I suggest the ceasefire be implemented within two human weeks?" Starscream asked. "Close enough to one of our orns to decide, but which the Decepticons will honour from midnight tonight, to show our sincerity and commitment to peace."

"Yes, and thank you," Morshower said, nodding in approval as Optimus also agreed to the midnight cease-fire time, comming all his mechs as Starscream was comming his, to tell them to stand down by midnight, or sooner if they were not in, or likely to be in, immediate peril.

"What about us?" Barricade said, standing up. "You Seekers seem to have it all worked out, but if we are going for equality, why have us grounders not been consulted?"

"Why do you think you are here, Barricade?" Starscream asked. " _You_ are the commander of the Decepticon ground forces, if you have something to add, please do, the floor, as the humans might say, is yours. The ground forces are under your command, just as the Seekers are under mine. If we put aside my Leader status for now, you and I are equal, both in command of our respective forces." Then, as if to emphasise his point, Starscream turned to face Barricade as he gave him an equal-to-equal Seeker bow that was neither overblown with sarcasm, nor exaggerated in any way.

Barricade was struck dumb for a moment, not sure how to respond, but said "As long as you will keep it, so will we. I will even order retreat or non-violent resistance should we be attacked during the two weeks it will take you to decide."

"Believe me," Morshower said "if I have my way, it won't take even two _days_ , never mind two weeks."

"Well," Starscream said just before the ensuing silence threatened to become uncomfortable, "shall we continue with the rest of the presentation?"

All nodded, and sat to watch the rest of Hound's holographic show.


End file.
